Manchester United 2-1 Chelsea Sunday 25th Feb 2018

Manchester United 2-1 Chelsea (Lukaku 39, Lingard 75) (Willian 32)

 

 
Yerrrrrrs. A massive, massive result, against a fellow top 6 rival, coming from behind, and a feather in Mourinho’s cap in his spat with Antonio Conte. It wasn’t a vintage 90 minutes, with a general lack of quality and pace on show on a surprisingly hot and sunny day in Manchester. Both teams looked tired after having played in the Champions League midweek, but thanks to Romelu Lukaku and Jesse Lingard, United went home happier.

After Herrera’s injury in Spain, Pogba obviously started, but it was the continuing selection of academy man Scott McTominay that was the talking point. The manager had obviously decided 4-3-3 was necessary. It looked like, given Fellaini’s injuries and Carrick’s lack of legs, our strongest team to contain Chelsea. Jones, Rojo and Blind were still out. Martial came in for Mata to play on the left, with Sanchez finally stationed on the right.

What of the Champions? Things are still going well for them in the Champions League - with a creditable 1-1 draw against Barcelona – and the FA Cup, but all is not well at the Bridge, especially behind the scenes where a battle for transfer supremacy is ongoing. Their season has generally been ok bar the odd hiccup, and they remain a quality team directed by a top passionate coach with an enviable CV. It looked even more impressive once the little skulduggery that once blighted it had been wiped out thanks to ‘rigorous’ investigation when Italian national boss. Ahem.

Events started with a bang with Morata (who many United fans would’ve preferred in the summer over Lukaku) hitting the woodwork almost straight away from a wicked Marcos Alonso cross. United did look strong out there though, the team looking fired up for the challenge. By contrast, the crowd was crap, disappointingly. You could only hear the away fans, strange really, it should’ve been a cauldron for this especially given Mourinho and Conte’s recent war of words.

Initially, Anthony Martial was our out ball, mainly from the left half-space from Pogba passes. A couple of times he was allowed a run at Chelsea’s centre-backs with Moses nowhere after we had won back possession. From one of these breaks Alexis Sanchez had a golden chance, but after controlling in the box at pace, he could only tap the ball towards the keeper with his right peg, when he probably should’ve hit it with his left.

Lingard and Pogba celebrate the number 14's goal

 

There was a pattern though – Matic wins it, United work it to Pogba in his favourite area in the left-centre, and he either drove us up the pitch by himself or spread it wide to Martial. It was such a joy to see our best player in his best position, able to link up with Martial. The winger unfortunately drifted out of the game, but it wasn’t for lack of touches, with Pogba constantly in the position to give it to him.

Chelsea’s attacks were led by Willian, in great form recently. Together with partner in crime Eden Hazard, he was a constant threat on the break with his direct vertical running, so explosive in transition. With Fabregas left on the bench, Chelsea did not build-up play particularly well, with the workmanlike midfield of Drinkwater and Kante instead looking to hit long for Morata who was not holding the ball up with any certainty. Thus, almost by default it was on the break where they were getting joy.

Chelsea were the better side in the first half, and they got their reward in a flowing counter from a United corner, beating a poorly executed offside trap. It was taken fucking short, despite the height we had in the box, given away, and Willian came away with the ball. He exchanged passes with Hazard, streaking away from McTominay, and hammered it past De Gea, despite his shot being pretty close to our keeper. He would kick himself, but It was the sort of shot one might complain about in the park for being too hard, to be fair to De Gea.

So, we were losing at home to a rival and the crowd was threatening to turn. Thankfully for us, Lukaku rose to the occasion to draw us level, finishing off an intricate move. Red Rom hadn’t scored against any of the top six this season, so this was overdue in a way, but that seems harsh. Instead we should celebrate the striker ending his dry spell against the elite, this despite him initially losing the ball due to an errant first touch. But Matic drove a low pass at Alexis, who turned instantly before laying the ball into Martial in the box, who we know has outstanding close control and touch in positions like that – seen in Lingard’s first goal against Arsenal earlier on in the season. The winger moved it on to Lukaku, whose first touch with his right foot took the ball away from Alonso’s challenge, allowing him to pass it into the corner with his left to make it 22 in all competitions. Brilliant.

The half ended with us on top, flying into tackles and Matic and Pogba thoroughly dominant, dribbling through the middle. Hazard had not had the ball as much as he is used to, thanks mainly to McTominay being instructed to stand on his toes and follow him round. It wasn’t an obvious job, like Herrera did in this fixture last year, but it was noticeable how many times it was the 6”4 Lancastrian who engaged first with Hazard, no matter where he received the ball.

The second half was all United as we put in an unbelievable demonstration of control, battling hard, winning the ball quickly, and setting our attackers away. The improvement was frightening, and we completely deserved the eventual win.

The towering Matic put in his best performance for ages, determined to show his former club what they were missing. With Pogba, carrying the ball at will, he bossed the midfield completely. While seeing him three times ghost past ‘world class’ Kante like a competitive dad versus his 3 year old son was hilarious, it was the moments when Pogba did not have to beat a man that was noticeable. Chelsea had failed to track Pogba’s runs, and were now often forced to hack clear the Frenchman’s attempted final balls. 3 in midfield suits us better, allowing Matic to go through games without blowing hard and freeing up Pogba to create.

Panna!

 

We can’t ignore Pogba treating Kante like his bitch every time they got 1 on 1 though. To think that our number 6 is often compared to that glorified marathon runner… he seemed determined to show who was boss. With a neat stepover he slipped past the Chelsea man, who promptly hacked him down for a yellow card, unable to compete with Pogba. He also got nutmegged in the second half, from a flick pass on the edge of the box. In direct opposition, there was no contest.

Lukaku was giving everything, his hold up play exemplary, his pace and power unreal. He was man of the match, completely answering his critics (like me) that he never does it against the big clubs. He was making the ball stick, laying the ball off to his colleagues, and never giving Chelsea’s three centre-backs a moment rest.

Sanchez hadn’t been amazing, often losing the ball for us by attempting a high-risk pass or dribble. But the genius was still on show, with a world class dig out cross from nothing for Lukaku to go close with a scissor kick. Courtois tipped it over, but United had the wind behind them.

Lingard was sent on and immediately energised things with his movement. United pushed further forward, seeking the winner, but this led to gaps for Chelsea. A 30 yarder from Drinkwater was parried away by De Gea poorly, and then he almost spilled a fairly simple and mild Willian free-kick over his own goal-line. A rare human performance for De Gea then, spilling everything, but in his defence the sun was in his eyes all second half and he was constantly putting his arm over his forehead to try and catch the flight of balls in the air. Why was some lackey not sent to his goal to chuck him a cap?

United went in front with a terrific goal. McTominay floated the ball forward, expertly spotting Lukaku’s run to the right hand side. He used his strength to hold off a challenge before a neat bit of footwork saw him make room for a delicious pin point cross onto the head of Lingard, who converted deftly. His late run had completely surprised Christensen. Another Lionel Jesse header! What a moment for the sub, and what a season he’s having. 2-1, and the Stretford End found its voice, expressing their gratitude to the Warrington Wizard. The atmosphere soon turned nervous again though, as almost straight from the kick off Willian ran on to a through ball and tried to catch De Gea out at his near post, but he denied him safely this time.

 

Conte didn’t waste time once Lingard’s 13^th goal in all competitions hit the net. He took off Moses for Giroud and went two up front, and long ball, keen to see if having two tall strikers on the field could create some knock downs for his side. A few minutes later, Fabregas was on as well to supply the ammunition.

In response to Conte’s changes, Mourinho went ultra-defensive and brought on Bailly for Sanchez, switching to 5-3-1-1. It made sense, but it led to an obvious change in the momentum, with Chelsea now taking control of the ball. Thankfully for us, Fabregas had been brought on far too late. By the time he’d got into the flow of the game, pinging passes around, United had adjusted to our new formation and were looking solid as a rock. The defence, and our gaffer, deserve credit for holding out against the Blues and their last ditch attacks on our goal. 

One more chance for United transpired when Lukaku picked up a loose ball inside his own half after United had hacked clear. He turned and accelerated, pushing the ball miles clear of him, leaving Chelsea defenders in his wake with his turn of speed and sudden burst. Up against the whole defence on his own, he got a shot off, blocked and out for an attacking throw-in, a perfect way to let the seconds tick by. It was the side of Lukaku we had rarely seen – picking up from deep and driving forward – given he’s usually wanting the ball in behind and is unwilling to get involved in the action too far away from goal. But perhaps the incredible run was a sign of things to come, that he can do his own heavy lifting at times.

At the other end, United were very lucky that Morata was flagged offside wrongly when hitting the back of the net to steal an equaliser. Mind, the United backline had stopped when the flag came up, so we will never know if Morata had got the space to score if the linesman never made the incorrect decision. Some fine timewasting at the end, particularly from Pogba and Lukaku, helped reduce Chelsea’s opportunities to launch it to their twin target men. One final chance came when a corner was conceded, but despite Courtois being up, the delivery was poor and Lingard duly smashed clear to the wonderful tone of the final whistle. Yes!



Judging by this pic, Sanchez has seemingly forgotten how terrifying celebrating a goal can be

If we play like we did in the second half every week, we would be right up there with City. Dynamic, energetic, clever runs and individual flair all combined in a greatest hits album. Lukaku, the title track in this already tortured metaphor, can be over the moon with his best game yet for United. Sure he scored one and made the other, but it was his all-round game, in a crucial match against one of the best defences, that really registered in my mind.

Martial was poor, and it has to be said that sometimes it is galling that Lingard outperforms him, someone with a third of his ability. It was frustrating seeing how little the ex-Monaco man moved off the ball – always wanting it to feet, rather than run in behind. The contrast with Lingard was stark; everything sped up when he came on, making an impact off the bench that is customary these days. He does seem to lift the team considerably on occasions. Of course, Lingard’s deficiencies in talent lead to some indifferent displays, like at Newcastle or against Spurs at Wembley. But he has, against the odds, made himself a cornerstone of the squad.

Some of the criticisms of Martial are ridiculous – for instance, the allegation that he doesn’t smile enough, and thus doesn’t want to be here and is miserable – but it has to be said his body language doesn’t give off a great vibe. When he was hooked, he fucking strolled off, at 1-1, when we had the momentum… it wasn’t a good look. (It was the type of petulant shit that Nani got hammered for. No danger of that given our cringe fanbase led by ‘Martial FC’ weirdos on twitter). This maybe is nit-picking, given that with the exception of decision making, Martial is among the best in the world for his age and seemingly only mental barriers will prevent him becoming world class. Even here, his lightning quick feet gave him an assist for the first goal. But still, it wouldn’t kill the lad to look a bit more motivated. Not that Jose will care too much about any of this – Lingard’s winner made it 10 league goals off the bench for us this season, a league high, and evidence that more often than not, the manager gets his subs spot-on.

McTominay was a huge positive. He didn’t quite put Hazard in his pocket like some suggested (I mean the Belgian carved us open for their goal) but it was a very good man-marking job against such a skilful player. The young lad responded really well after not tracking Willlian for that goal to put in a mature performance. Sure, his passing lacks a bit of variety, but he was composed, and United looked a better side with him in it. The kid showed considerable nerve to play in such a big game so early in his career. The fact that Chelsea’s star man was taken off with the result on the line said everything as to how intelligent and diligent McTominay had been in carrying out the task set by Mourinho. He’d seen off Hazard!

It should be said out loud – 1-0 down, being outplayed, we managed to turn it around, take control, and grab the points. When did that last happen? We certainly don’t win many from a goal down, but the second half performance, and the very best of Lukaku, demanded the spoils. What a victory.

United (4-3-3) De Gea 5.5; Valencia 7, Smalling 6.5, Lindelof 7, Young 6; McTominay 7.5, Matic 8.5, Pogba 8.5; Sanchez 6.5 (Bailly 81, 6), Lukaku 9, Martial 5.5 (Lingard 64, 7.5).

Chelsea (3-4-2-1) Courtois 7; Azpilicueta 6.5, Christensen 6.5, Rudiger 6; Moses 5.5 (Giroud 78, 6), Drinkwater 6 (Fabregas 81, 6), Kante 6, Alonso 7; Willian 7.5, Hazard 6.5 (Pedro 73, 6); Morata 5.5.

Look at the passion from Lukaku against his old club. YANITED

Sevilla 0-0 Manchester United Champions League last 16 1st leg

Sevilla 0-0 Manchester United 21st Feb

 

Our first Champions League knockout stage match since 2014 ended with United fans probably thinking that It wouldn’t be a complete disaster if it’s another 4 years till the next one, such was the lack of entertainment on show. It was a shit performance from a fairly uninspiring team, with very little pace in the play or the personnel, and the travelling fans weren’t in shock at it either.

The headline team news was scarcely believable as Jose Mourinho took sending a message to new levels by benching Pogba for McTominay. In a game of this magnitude to be without our most talented player was baffling. Juan Mata started away against a top team as a right-winger in a 4-3-3, a decision which also puzzled even the most seasoned of Jose watchers.

Ander Herrera rather summed up his season by quickly injuring his hamstring attempting a needless backheel. In hindsight, his injury was very predictable given how little football he has had recently. So, after all the talk, Paul Pogba was on in a three man midfield, looking sharp straight away. Of course he fucking did. Because he’s bloody brilliant.

McTominay starting is a testament to all the coaches that helped him and his own temperament, but it didn’t stop him having a nightmare in the first half, being played off the park by Ever Banega. Passes went astray, he lost runners and he was panicking like a 70’s BBC Radio DJ who has just got a late night knock at the door. To be fair, in the 2^nd half he coped far better and settled down well.

It was a cavalcade of issues as we tried to grapple with an impressive Sevilla outfit in front of a raucous home crowd. Sanchez was a bit out of sync with everyone else, always cutting back and looking for an over ambitious ball. Mata was ineffective in a system that demands him staying wide. Well, yeah, obviously. Sevilla away is a bit different to Huddersfield away. Furthermore, the number 8’s lack of defensive awareness led to our right side getting attacked constantly, with Valencia and Smalling having to work hard to stop moves.

The tricky Joaquin Correa was looking good for Sevilla on the aforementioned left flank, gliding across the pitch with the ball seemingly tied to his feet. The boy likes to cut inside after a slow dribble in a sort of latter-day Kaka style.  Fortunately he somewhat lacked end product. Four or five times he got in a great position to shoot or cross and failed to dig out anything of substance. Still, his mate Banega was controlling the midfield with his knack for breaking lines, and ex-City winger Jesus Navas was a pacey threat at right-back.

We only had one chance in the half, with a top Sanchez ball volleyed over by Lukaku. Our forward though had been one of our better players, winning a lot of flick-ons.  Although he had to be, given how we were mostly just hitting it long rather than trying to progress play. There was very little thought to our approach at all.

They had a bunch of corners from the 25^th minute till half-time, putting us under severe pressure, with the crowd giving a loud roar at every single won signalled by the ref. Thankfully we have the freak that is David De Gea in nets, who loves to play against Spanish clubs. He is the world’s best and it isn’t even slightly close, we are so blessed to have him. He tipped over an N’Zonzi header, he stopped from Correa… Unreal save after unreal save came in response to the Sevilla onslaught, demonstrating his athleticism and unparalleled reflexes to leave it 0-0 at the break when every single shred of evidence said we should be behind.

The best save came when Luis Muriel found space between the two centre-backs to head for goal from close range, but somehow De Gea flicked out his right hand to bat it away. It was a save so good Muriel shook De Gea’s hand when they were walking off at half time.

The second half was a bit better, and they had very few attacks as a slight tiredness crept in after their intense first period. Correa had disappeared really, and number 10 Vasquez was economical in possession but unspectacular. The issue was, we didn’t create much either, instead sitting very deep. There was so much responsibility on Pogba to both evade pressure and carry the ball forward to try and get us up the pitch. Imagine if Herrera hadn’t got injured? United would’ve never got forward at all.

To be fair to both teams, the referee was very whistle happy, looking at every 50-50 battle as a potential violent bloodbath. With the game constantly being broken up for free-kicks and little knocks, it was stifling for all the players, especially the attackers who found it difficult to introduce some speed into the game. Sevilla were strong and diligent, and towards the end sat back themselves to keep the score at 0-0.

It was one of those games for Mata where you wondered what he actually offers the team. Of course the answer is he keeps our average squad IQ acceptable. But ‘jokes’ aside, even those who rate him like it’s still 2013 would recognise these types of games and the position he was playing are hardly his forte. He’s still a quality option but he needs certain conditions to thrive and this was difficult for him.

Looking at the XI, was the performance that much of a surprise? Without the thrust of Martial, Rashford, and Lingard there was a lack of legs on the field. Maybe even Shaw would’ve helped, introducing some pace to the defence that would’ve prompted them to move up the pitch slightly. Even after Pogba came on, United were slow and couldn’t worry the home team too much.

We really should be so much better than Sevilla, and yet magic from De Gea was needed again. We have to be honest about what we saw there; long humped balls forward and little else. Sure, with Banega and N’Zonzi in the middle it was always going to need a terrific performance to get the better of the midfield, but how much money is going to be thrown at clubs before we can dominate these middle-ranking sides?

The 2^nd leg is going to be horrible. A 0-0 away result was last seen to be a decent strategy by Ferguson in 2000, right before Real Madrid took control of the Quarter Final by scoring first at Old Trafford. Without an away goal, we are vulnerable to the sucker punch. They only need one proper chance for us to be really up against it.

United (4-3-3) De Gea 9; Valencia 6, Smalling 7, Lindelof 7, Young 6; McTominay 5.5, Matic 6, Herrera 6 (Pogba 17, 7.5); Mata 5.5 (Rashford 75, 6), Lukaku 7, Sanchez 6.5 (Martial 80, 6).

Sevilla (4-2-3-1) Rico 6; Navas 7, Mercado 6.5, Lenglet 7, Escudero 6; Banega 8 (Pizarro 89), N’Zonzi 6.5; Sarabia 5.5, Vasquez 6, Correa 6; Muriel 6.5 (Ramirez 85).

Huddersfield 0-2 Manchester United FA Cup 5th Round

Huddersfield 0-2 Manchester United (Lukaku 3, 55)

Don’t mention the VAR. United strolled in to the quarters of the FA Cup by brushing aside Huddersfield thanks to two quality goals from Romelu Lukaku, although little attention was given to this fact afterwards, as the media spun themselves into bother over Pogba, Jose, and VAR. Oh My.

Big changes, six of them, were made from the Newcastle loss. De Gea and Valencia were rested; Jones, Martial and Lingard, dropped. Oh, and Paul Pogba. There was something wonderfully ironic about United lining up without Pogba in the squad. Just a day before, Mourinho had used his press conference to dismiss the suggestions that he had any problems with his star man as “lies”. Instead, United had three in midfield that did not inspire confidence, what with Scott McTominay and Michael Carrick being at opposite ends of the age scale, and Nemanja Matic looking increasingly drawn as the season goes on. The excuse was that Pogba was ill on the day of the game, and that did seem plausible given young Ethan Hamilton from the youth team appeared as one of the subs out of nowhere as a last minute replacement. I’m sure a few giggles were had about the fact United had finally switched to a midfield trio and then left out the man it was meant to accommodate. With a trip to Sevilla on Wednesday, Pogba’s absence left more questions than answers.

As did the awful system of the video assistant referee (VAR). This might sound like sour grapes, given that it was my team who had a goal chalked off, especially galling as it was lovely-looking, well-mannered, charity-founding, sensitive-lover Juan Mata that was kept off the scoresheet. But just look at the wait, the energy being sucked from the crowd during the delay, the confusion amongst the players… and for what - the sake of millimetres? True, Mata’s kneecap was offside. But if it had been allowed to stand, would there have been any complaint, given how tight the margin was? Pundits were still claiming it was onside, albeit wrongly, hours after the event. I think that the thing I dislike most about VAR is it is clearly an initiative for the fans watching on TV, and not the match attendees, i.e. the only people that actually matter. The FA and the Premier League must ask themselves whether an extra ~5% of accuracy on offsides is worth yet another reduction in the matchday experience for the humble fan. Don’t get me started on using it for penalties, or red cards – infringements that inherently come down to an individual ref’s interpretation of the law! There have been infamous dives or red card decisions that are still debated years later, how can VAR help there? At least the Huddersfield boss David Wagner agrees with me. “Yes, the decision went in our favour but this VAR for me kills the emotion of the game. This is why I don’t like it – but I am not the person who makes the decision”. Well, in my opinion, VAR belongs in the bin with XG. Kick nerds out of football.

Anyway… United bounced back quickly from the Newcastle defeat, and with 2 minutes and 36 seconds on the clock, they were leading, courtesy of Lukaku. It was a lovely goal, he had held it up in the first place, before laying off to Mata and running in behind. The Spaniard’s through ball found our big Belgian, who cut inside onto his right foot before sliding it past Lossl. It demonstrated all his attributes – the holdup play, the pace, the power, and the supreme finishing. Terrific centre forward play. The home side responded, with Tom Ince steering an effort wide on the turn after springing an awful offside trap. Despite having such an early advantage, United struggled in the opening 15 minutes, unable to string three passes together, and giving it away for fun. We were losing the midfield battle, with Matic out of sorts, McTominay showing a lack of quality and Carrick more tortoise than hare.

At least the United fans were in great voice, using their big FA Cup allocation to its fullest. ‘It’s Carrick, y’know’ was getting a hearty airing in celebration at the club captain actually starting a game of football. Maybe they were trying to distract from the dreck on show in Yorkshire, with United very defensive, and conceding territory by sitting deep. We were looking more like a bunch of individuals than a team, with a real lack of intensity. Still, at least the home side were shite, completely incapable of punishing us. Their only threat in Mounier was being bested in a few battles in an entertaining war with Chris Smalling in the air. It was noteworthy that Smalling was attacking everything, perhaps determined to prove a point after his shambles of a performance at Newcastle. Matic however had a shocking first half, not knowing what to do with the ball at his feet, and looking quite weak. It is to his credit that he emerged after the break improved, finding his feet and passing confidently.

The VAR incident happened on the stroke of half-time, with Young making an enterprising run at right-back then slipping the ball inside, where Mata went round the keeper and tapped in for our second goal. Or so we thought, for as Mata wheeled away in celebration, the ref signalled he was listening to his mates watching a screen fucking miles away. Farcically, BT Sport were fed incorrect images featuring swiggly lines that weren’t parallel to the 18 yard box to judge an offside. Not a good look at all for VAR, although that wasn’t how the decision was actually made, thank Christ. The goal was overturn and the United fans were aghast – but I’ve said my piece on this incoherent system, we still had a match to win.

Just before the whistle, Matic finished a free-kick but this goal was disallowed –normally this time! – For a big offside, but it gave United momentum in the second period. There was an increased aggression, and United were rewarded with a second goal right out of the top-drawer. From our own corner, the ball was cleared to Lukaku. He played a superbly timed one-two with Alexis, before running through and converting nicely. 21 for the season now for Red Rom, who consistently makes the difference for us against the lower teams. If he can crack it against the cream of the crop we would have one hell of a centre-forward on our hands. As for our big January buy and new number seven, he is clearly taking time to get used to his teammates, but even at his lowest he can provide these moments of flair.

Mata, Alexis and United in general were purring now, always on the break, pushing the home team back, looking for a third goal to kill them. It didn’t come, partly as the last 10 minutes were played out sensibly rather than explosively, partly as often the final ball was erratic, despite the real threat posed by Mata’s passing and intelligence. Nevertheless it didn’t bother those United fans who were in top form. A week after yet another brace against PSG at the very apex (the CL latter stages) of the game, Cristiano Ronaldo got serenaded, which warmed my cold heart. ‘Viva Ronaldo’ and ‘He plays on the left’ were sung with gusto, before the traditional ‘Que Sera, Sera…’ was belted out as United reached the Quarters of the Cup for the fourth year in succession. And that’s no mean record.

Afterwards Mourinho lavished more praise on McTominay, who is starting to appear like his personal project. (Or perhaps, one might harshly argue, an exaggerated sham perpetrated solely to prove that despite his reputation he can play young players from the academy and does care about the growth of kids.) He said the new Scottish manager Alex McLeish should come straight to him to get him tied down to Scotland, internationally. Also, this: “I think Scott deserves more than what he is getting. Maybe it’s because he’s this kind of kid profile: a normal haircut, no tattoos, no big cars, no big watches, humble kid, arrive in the club when he was nine or 10”. No prizes for guessing who that *may* refer to. Still, how great for the kid to be the recipient of so much approval. There were kind words for Eric Bailly and his welcome return as well, coming on in the dying embers of the match for his first appearance since the loss at Stamford Bridge on the 5^th of November.

There was a neat postscript as to our potential cup opponents as well. For not only were Tottenham taken to a replay by League Two Rochdale after a stoppage-time equaliser, but deliciously, the Greatest Team Ever Seen in English Football were humbled again, 1-0 by Wigan Athletic. Now that they’re in the third tier, it probably was a far bigger one off result than the 2013 cup final shock or the following year giant-killing of Pellegrini’s team at the Ethiad. And old Pep doesn’t take kindly to losing, oh no. The precious cunt completely lost his head, engaging in a pretty childish scrap with his Wigan counterpart at half-time after Delph was sent off. At the final whistle, the Berties decided to throw advertising hoardings at policeman. Despite their lottery win, they will always be poor little bitter city.

Onwards to Sevilla, and the competition Mourinho previously defined himself by. After City and Liverpool smashed Basel and Porto respectively, and Spurs got a very creditable 2-2 at Juventus, the pressure is on us to perform as well. Time to deliver.

United (4-1-4-1) Romero 7; Young 6.5, Smalling 7.5, Lindelof 6, Shaw 6.5; Carrick 6; Mata 7.5 (Lingard 81), McTominay 6, Matic 6, Sanchez 6.5 (Martial 75, 6); Lukaku 8 (Bailly 90+3).

Manchester United vs Huddersfield (H) and Newcastle (A)

Manchester United 2-0 Huddersfield (Lukaku 55, Sanchez 68)

United got back on track with a comfortable win, in the end, over a very poor Huddersfield side who seemed to focus more on fouling Alexis Sanchez than attempting to score. A 15^th clean sheet of the season was never in doubt, and neither was the result once the deadlock was broken with an excellent goal; Nemanja Matic won the ball and fed it to Juan Mata on the left, who whipped in a class ball for Romelu Lukaku to volley home. His 19^th goal of the season ended the game as a contest, but it needed the second for United to be calm. Sanchez, making his Old Trafford debut, finished the game when he followed in his own saved penalty, after being fouled for the umpteenth time. He took control despite having a poor penalty record, (which only got worse here) but then again, so do quite a lot of our players.

The tenacious and determined Sanchez was the star of this show, taking the acclaim of the Stretford End at the end after an all-action performance. The Chilean on the mythical wages was the trigger for the attacks, always wanting the ball, drifting into space and driving in possession. While others talk about the numbers, Alexis will just get on with helping his new team win matches. He’d struggled at Spurs (like everyone else), but here was terrific.

It was off pitch stuff that was headline news. This was the Munich 60^th anniversary game, with the ‘We’ll Never Die’ flag passed around before kick-off. It was fitting on such a day that youth graduate Scott McTominay surprisingly started, after Paul Pogba was punished for his insolence against Spurs by being relegated to the bench. He wasn’t the only one, with Jones, Young, and Martial also dropping out. Pogba duly came on to help create the penalty situation, and hopefully Mourinho has sent him a message; He might be our best player, but he is still part of a team, and a squad. No one is safe from being dropped.

McTominay’s enduring memory from this occasion will be being pole-axed by Terence Kongolo in the area, but no penalty and red card was forthcoming, incredibly. That’s it, really. I mean, I didn’t even watch this game, to be honest. But no matter, the 3 points had been secured.

United (4-2-3-1) De Gea 6; Valencia 7, Smalling 6.5, Rojo 7, Shaw 6; McTominay 7, Matic 6.5; Mata 7 (Rashford 71, 6), Lingard 6 (Pogba 65, 7), Sanchez 8; Lukaku 7.5 (Martial 77, 6).

 

Newcastle 1-0 Manchester United (Ritchie 65)

 

Just when things appear as if they’re going to work out, Manchester United contrive to fall apart again. Once more in the post-Ferguson era, it was one step forward, one step back for the Reds. This defeat at St James’ is easily one of the most unforgivable, due to the meek surrender of the points, the chances spurned, and the lack of the quality on show from the opponents. The barcodes barely had to break sweat to keep up Rafa Benitez’s great head-to-head record against Jose Mourinho. Genuinely, I didn’t see this coming at all.

Mourinho picked the same XI that had slipped to defeat at Wembley, which basically confirmed that he does see Ashley Young as first choice left-back, for better or worse. His pool of players were left weakened by minor injuries to Herrera and Rashford, meaning they couldn’t travel. From memory, it was the first time since Rashford made his breakthrough that he had been forced to miss a game through injury. Still, there was plenty of attacking flair in the line-up, enough to overpower the Geordies, anyway.

The game had an electric beginning as Jonjo Shelvey sent in a piledriver which was kept out by De Gea, and Lukaku could only connect with an air-shot from an Alexis cross. Sanchez had started brightly, his elusive dribbling and the ability to ghost past markers evident from the off. But he didn’t get much opportunity to show this, as United were struggling to progress out of our half. Our centre-halves were having way too much of the ball, with Matic and Pogba not coming deep enough to help build attacks.

Newcastle had pace to burn through Chelsea loanee Kenedy, who stung the palms of De Gea with a fierce strike from 25 yards, but United began to find their feet and create chances. Lingard’s shot was pushed out for a corner by the debutant Martin Dubravka in goal, before the best chance of the half. Lukaku smartly touched the ball round the corner for Matic, who played Martial in with an incisive through ball. One-on-one, Martial blinked first, and his tame sidefooted effort was blocked well by the Slovakian international Dubravka, who I had never heard of before. I was expecting Karl Darlow between the sticks for the Geordies, but instead it was their deadline day loan signing from Sparta Prague. So of course, he was brilliant.

Juan Mata would’ve been useful in the first half. United had lots of the ball, decreasing the need for Lingard’s sharp movement, instead requiring the extra vision, guile, and creativity of Mata. At half time, the feeling was disappointment; the possession hadn’t translated into territory. It didn’t help that Martial, missed chance aside, was operating from the right, which he still seemed uncertain with. Again, it was worth asking why our most in-form forward had to change his position to accommodate Sanchez, rather than the other way around. To be fair to Alexis, he was a cut above his teammates in the first half, in particular Lingard, having a gash few minutes before the break, ruining counters.

United were in the middle of their best period of the game. Lukaku had the ball in the net on 53 minutes, but was adjudged to have pushed and climbed on the defender, which was probably true. Alexis dribbled through the defenders showing immense skill and change of direction, winning a corner after his shot was blocked, but then 2 minutes later he missed an unbelievable chance. Lukaku played him in with a world class ball, the Chilean rounded the keeper, but couldn’t quite sort his feet out in time and his weak effort was blocked before it could reach the empty net. Fuck.

United were complicit in their own downfall, missing these chances, and we were made to pay. Chris Smalling, the fucking donkey, didn’t learn from almost giving a penalty away in the first half, and dived over a challenge on the halfway line. Yep. Our 6”3 strong commanding centre-back dived, giving away a free-kick. Shelvey stood it up, Lejeune nodded it down, Gayle flicked it on, and Matt Ritchie had the freedom on Tyneside in the penalty area to convert past De Gea and put the Geordie nation into raptures. It was a decent training ground set-piece but the marking was non-existent. Fuck off Smalling. We had let the game drift, and now we were behind.

I mean...

 

United initially responded well, Ashley Young controlling a ball from Michael Carrick brilliantly and having a strike at goal saved. Oh yeah, that was Carrick, making his first league appearance of the season, on for Paul Pogba after the goal went in. The attention obviously fell on Pogba afterwards, and it is notable that after always playing 90 minutes, he now hasn’t completed it in the last 3 league games. He didn’t look fully fit, but when Shelvey plays around you like he did here, questions need to be asked. We need more, a lot more, from our talisman.

United then were too passive, too reactive, as Newcastle settled in a deep block. Jose threw his last roll of the dice, sending on Scott McTominay in place of Matic for extra threat in the air. We’ve spent over half a billion on the squad and yet when chasing the game we brought on McTominay and Carrick. Let that sink in.

Martial had the best chances, from a corner he had two bites of the cherry from close range but struck the same man on the line twice as the clock ticked by. Lukaku was having one of his best non-goal United games, but someone else needed to finish, and it just wasn't happening. Dubravka, who had played against England in September, was solid and communicative with his battling defence, always helping them. One final chance was saved again, from a Carrick prod late on, but Newcastle hoofed clear and the Geordies celebrated their win. An awful result for United.

So where do we start with that- can Pogba actually not play in a two? Is Matic shattered? Are Smalling and Jones an accident waiting to happen? Who knows. As shit as Smalling is and was, Newcastle kept a clean sheet. They hadn’t won at home for months and yet we scored 0 past them. That ain’t Smalling’s fault. The free-kick was just in our half, hardly a dangerous area for a set-piece. We should’ve had it covered. Credit should also be given to Benitez’s side, from their debutant keeper to the performance of Shelvey, reminiscent of his Swansea form that won him a few England caps.

It looks like we’ve lost the opportunity to be comfortable in 2^nd place and instead will have to scrap it out with the others to stay in the top 4. We’ve been given the chances to move clear by the mistakes and slip-ups from the rest but we’ve blown it and now will be unable to concentrate fully on the cups, which looked possible only a couple of weeks ago.  

United (4-2-3-1) De Gea 6.5; Valencia 6, Smalling 4, Jones 6, Young 6; Pogba 5.5 (Carrick 66, 5.5), Matic 6 (McTominay 77, 5); Martial 5.5, Lingard 5 (Mata 66, 5.5), Sanchez 6.5; Lukaku 7.5.

Newcastle (4-4-1-1) Dubravka 8; Yedlin 6, Lascelles 7, Lejeune 7.5, Dummett 7; Ritchie 7.5, Diame 6.5, Shelvey 7, Kenedy 6.5 (Atsu 84); Perez 6 (Hayden 90+4); Gayle 6 (Joselu 80)

Spurs 2-0 Manchester United

Tottenham Hotspur 2-0 Manchester United (Eriksen 1, Jones 28 og)

 

For the third successive home league game in a row, Spurs took home the three points against Manchester United. Whether it’s White Hart Lane or Wembley, Spurs seem to be able to raise their game against the Red Devils at home – not since September 1966 had such a run been completed. In what was a record attendance for a Premier League game of over 81,000, Spurs completely dominated the proceedings and an anaemic United went home with their tails between their legs.

Spurs are the real deal these days, of course, and a loss to them is no disgrace, but the manner on this midweek night was deeply troubling. United had gone from a resolute backline that had kept six clean sheets in a row to conceding after just 11 seconds, one of the quickest goals of the Premier League era.

Straight from kick-off Spurs launched it forward, Kane and Alli won the duels in the air, and Eriksen reacted to the loose ball first and swept home beautifully. I hadn’t even got to the pub yet. By the looks of things, a quarter of the stadium hadn’t taken their seats either.

Spurs paraded their only significant January signing at half time, with Lucas Moura keeping to the cliché of holding up the scarf and doing a few keepie-uppies. On this evidence, the Brazil winger will find it difficult to muscle in on Spurs’ intelligent and talented front four. Harry Kane, Dele Alli and Christian Eriksen are all well established as some of the best players in the league, but Son has often been forgotten about, although that is starting to change now. All four caused United all sorts of problems, with Alli and Eriksen in particular fiendishly difficult to shut down.  

Spurs were playing with an absurdly high line, this observer was astonished at their bravery, especially with United boasting the pace of Martial and Alexis Sanchez, making his league debut. While that is how Poch likes to play, it did seem to be a huge risk, although it paid off handsomely, with the centre-backs spreading play out wide at will. With the defenders happy to engage in battles on the halfway line, Moussa Dembele was liberated from having to fight, instead able to demonstrate his delicate touches and calm carrying of the ball.

The opening exchanges were ridiculously attacking for a game between two of the top six. The home side were passing at a high tempo and Trippier was finding himself in acres of space in behind Ashley Young. Spurs were always happy to put in crosses from any angle, forcing United to face their own goal at every opportunity. They were so intense, and fluid, their frontline showing off their proactive movement. By contrast, United were apathetic and stunted, unable to get a foothold in the game.  

Spurs have a propensity to shit themselves in big matches, but the early goal banished the nerves and gave all 11 players confidence to try things, to take risks, and pin United back. Pochettino was clearly targeting our left flank - Trippier, Eriksen and Alli were all taking turns to run at an all-at-sea Ashley Young. Mind, the converted winger wasn’t helped by his winger Sanchez, who didn’t exactly show full commitment to getting back and helping his teammate. As an aside, what was Mourinho thinking taking the in-form Martial out of his best position –left wing- to accommodate Sanchez? Martial had been our best player recently, it made no sense that our new player didn’t operate on the right instead of the Frenchman. Especially when Sanchez has plenty of experience on the right anyway.  

Spurs’ aggressive high press was creating countless turnovers of possession, as United were careless when hurried on the ball. It didn’t help that our two central defenders were Smalling and Jones, none of whom are Rio Ferdinand on the ball. While Rojo is an inferior defender to Smalling, his comfort with the ball at his feet would’ve been useful against the high press from Spurs.

They went close a number of times, with De Gea on form. Jones seemed to be keeping us in it, with a couple of excellent tackles to deny Kane and Alli, but then compounded the misery by side-footing a dangerous low cross from Trippier into his own net. A top finish, it was a shame he just couldn’t sort his feet out.

United, far from responding positively, were seemingly begging for half-time for some respite from slick Spurs moves. In the final third, Spurs were always making the right decision to open up the United defence. And yet, it could’ve been 2-1, with Pogba losing all semblance of technique when prodding over from almost the goal-line after a set-piece. That would’ve papered over the cracks – United were as open as mid-2000s Lindsey Lohan. The most frustrating thing of all was how much United were giving the ball away. There were simple passes sent straight out of play due to carelessness or lack of communication.

When we were under the cosh immediately after the second goal, Lingard should’ve been pushed back to make 3 in midfield to try and stem the flow of Eriksen and Alli. Instead, United tried to attack, only succeeding in leaving the midfield isolated. It didn’t help that Nemanja Matic was having a shocker. He gave the ball away almost every time he had it, was losing duels with players half his size and strength, looked exhausted after 35 minutes, and was unable to track the runs of Eriksen, Alli and Son. When Dembele coasted past him on his way to creating another chance, Matic lamely fell to the floor. He lasted the full 90, when he really should’ve been subbed at half-time. He wasn’t alone though, Young and Smalling were also looking out of their depth out there.

You beat the high press by going long, but United didn’t, happy instead to try high risk passes across our own goal in an attempt the keep the ball. It was admirable, but stupid, with the high defensive line begging for some long passes. A lot of our problems were self-inflicted, it should be said. Spurs often didn’t need great skill or guile to initiate attacks, often just waiting for our thick players to lose balls in dangerous positions via ambitious passes. It was Spurs who were enjoying themselves, with the quick thrust employed whenever they won the ball. Alli and Eriksen were finding so much space in between our rigid lines.

The only real chance United made from open play all night happened early in the 2^nd half, when Pogba clipped a ball in behind Davison Sanchez and Lukaku ran on to it and got a strong shot off, but Lloris tipped it round the post. A few minutes later, Pogba was hooked, with much attention paid afterwards to a clip of Mourinho berating Pogba for his lack of discipline. While I wouldn’t have taken the Frenchman off, in the vain hope that he could create something special, he was a pile of wank out there. We all have off days, but there is no excuse for ignoring the manager’s instructions to sit tight in a two with Matic, and that is seemingly what he did. Pogba was often found level on the pitch with our wingers while Matic was left alone again in the middle, and was a key reason as to why we were always under pressure. The pundits peddled the bullshit afterwards that Pogba can’t play in a midfield two, he’s erratic off-the-ball, he can’t track runs from a clever no.10… all complete nonsense. Pogba proved at Euro 2016 he can be disciplined, defensive, and composed, restraining his natural game for the good of the team. He just had a dreadful night, perhaps believing United needed him further forward. He deserves criticism for that, but let’s not go overboard.

The second half didn’t get any less embarrassing, with Alli nutmegging Jones, Matic looking like he’d been in a marathon, Smalling mis-kicking galore and the farce that was the Fellaini substitution. Sent on presumably to aid in the long ball tactics to help beat the press, he was off down the Wembley tunnel within seven minutes due to injury, meaning Herrera had to come in and play in midfield. Marcus Rashford was stripped, receiving his final commands before coming on when it became clear that Fellaini couldn’t continue, and so the kid sat back down and the last chance of a comeback probably disappeared then and there. Fellaini’s season has been plagued by injury, and with his contract up at the end of the season, you mind begins to wonder what his future holds, even though the manager remains his biggest fan.

There was no silver lining as Sanchez was the only one pressing, probably thinking how his new team - a Mourinho team - could be so poor at the back. Martial, eventually switched to the left, didn’t beat his man all night. Lukaku worked hard, to his credit, but yet another big game came and went with him making little impact. Perhaps in these games, 3 in midfield is a must.

The sensational Alli was purring in the second half, showing off his full repertoire. An outside-of-the-foot ball to Kane, an outrageous back-heel to play in Davies on the left, snapshots from anywhere. It was a tremendous return to form for young star, a good response to his critics. Kane, searching for his 100^th Premier League goal, had an odd night for him – he didn’t score. So rare is that these days that Mourinho should maybe buy himself a scratch card or two. It wasn’t as if the England captain-elect didn’t have enough opportunities, but the efforts of De Gea and a couple of mistakes meant he went home goalless, thankfully for the Reds.

Not that Spurs really needed him to be at his best, for Eriksen was majestic. The Dane was impossible to mark, always able to find space in the crowed midfield. His nominal position was right midfield, but in fact he popped up everywhere, and his elusive dribbling style made Matic look stupid all night. In the inside-right channel, he was able to slip Kane in, poke balls out to Trippier, (always stationed high up the pitch) or go for goal himself. Like all Spurs attacking players, he was a tad wasteful, often looking for the extra pass when you expected the net to bulge, or a slight mis-control when United’s defenders were nowhere. This feels like straw-clutching though, for these little moments didn’t distract from the overall feeling that he was controlling the game. He hit the post from 25 yards, he breezed past red shirts, and always played with his head up.

For the away team, the inquest started straight away. We have to be honest and say that it should’ve been 4-0, at least. The contrast from so many solid displays to the haphazard defending at Wembley was confusing, even if Spurs and the vibrant interplay they demonstrated was obviously a factor. I still have no idea why we were charging round the pitch without figuring out against Spurs you have to sit deep for a bit. Still, as bad as the game was, Chelsea slipping to a 3-0 reverse at home to Bournemouth meant that the damage doesn’t have to be terminal, if we get back on track quickly. We were shit, it happens, let’s regroup.
United (4-2-3-1) De Gea 8; Valencia 5.5, Smalling 3.5, Jones 5, Young 4; Pogba 4.5 (Mata 63, 5), Matic 3.5; Martial 4.5, Lingard 6 (Fellaini 63 [Herrera 70, 5]), Sanchez 5; Lukaku 5.5.

Spurs (4-2-3-1) Lloris 7; Trippier 8, Sanchez 6.5, Vertonghen 7.5, Davies 7; Dier 7, Dembele 8 (Wanyama 90+1); Eriksen 9, Alli 8.5 (Sissoko 88), Son 7 (Lamela 80); Kane 7.5.