Manchester United 0-1 West Brom 15th April

Manchester United 0-1 West Brom (Rodriguez 73)

Fans of every single club in England, without fail, believe that their club love ‘doing it the hard way’. “Typical City” the Berties would bitterly mutter as their shite heroes slipped into the third tier. “Classic West Ham, never making it easy for ourselves” sigh the Green Street veterans after another pathetic performance, now forever condemned to watching football at an athletics stadium (admittedly a world-class one). Mostly, even for the rubbish clubs, this is utter bollocks. Even at United - the most successful team in the country remember – there persists a feeling from a sizable number of supporters that a trophy is only ever won in strife, and some of the recent domestic cup victories prove them right. After watching United lose to a West Brom outfit already essentially down, propping up the table and with a caretaker manager, only a week after the result of the season at the Etihad, you wonder if the cliché does ring true.

Of course, having 8 of the finest selection of young British players of all time lose their life in a plane crash with their potential not even slightly fulfilled would probably qualify for ‘doing it the hard way’. But generally, even the bad times at Old Trafford aren’t too bad. Despite this dreadful 90 minutes, United still could finish 2^nd and lift the FA Cup, which would be a very good season. But it is the inconsistency and the lack of ability to build on wins that so frustrates the crowd when it comes to Mourinho’s Manchester United. How were his team so lethargic after the high of Smalling’s winner at City?

It’s not as if West Brom were any good. They should always be respected – this was incredibly their 3^rd league win at Old Trafford since Ferguson retired – but they were and are rock bottom of the league, desperately low on confidence, sleepwalking to the Championship under temporary boss Darren Moore, after the appointment of Alan Pardew spectacularly failed. Their lack of attacking prowess is almost hilarious, and yet they won at our home, a place where Mourinho has only lost to two other teams – City and Sevilla. In the process leaving us 16 points behind with 5 games to play, meaning the Champions-elect became the Champions. It was their first league win since January for fucks sake.

WBA didn’t need to be special or even average to win, for United were abject. Slow, ponderous, and lacking in ideas, we looked like we were the team who had given up for the season. The contrast with the chest beating after the derby win was stark. Only two changes had been made – Lindelof for Bailly and Mata for Lingard – yet the change in tempo was like a chasm.  It was really hard to recall any moments of dominance or great football. We had the ball, but didn’t do a lot. We had the territory, yet rarely turned the defenders or tested the keeper. It was all very dreary. Lukaku had a chance saved. Herrera had a penalty claim waved away. That was it for the first half.

A familiar issue in all of United’s poor games this season has been lack of width and once again it was on show. Mata and the totally wasteful Sanchez both drifted inside, with Pogba, Herrera and Lukaku already there. The result? A congested mess when we go forward, practically tripping over ourselves in the search for space. With Valencia and Young either unwilling or unable to push high up, United were stale, relying on little bits of quality to open up a stout defence.

Albion were panicking whenever they had the ball, almost terrified that they could actually come away with a result. The golden chance inevitably came on the hour mark and it fell to Lukaku, just who United would’ve wanted it to. Matic picked him out with a fine cross and he did nothing wrong with his header. Nothing. It was powerful and goalbound, but Ben Foster flung himself to his left and pulled off a magnificent save. Rom couldn’t believe it, and the WBA lads probably thought then and there they could nick it.

It was from a corner, obviously. You can take the Tony Pulis out of the team etc. Brunt swung it in, Matic lost his man at the far post and desperately headed it himself back into the six yard box, where Jay Rodriguez had escaped Lukaku to score. Another goal conceded from a set-piece that Lukaku is culpable for then. There really is no point having him in there if he is so shit at marking, just leave the guy up top. You couldn’t blame him too much though, he barely got a kick against the bottom team due to his teammates actions.

There was no onslaught or siege on to the Stretford End goal afterwards. Even the introduction of Lingard, Rashford and Martial didn’t lead to anything tangible, despite all three being renowned for their effectiveness off the bench this season. More urgency, more crosses and Smalling being used as an unorthodox centre-forward, but no real danger for the well organised Baggies. United looked out of ideas, and in the end deserved to slip to a 6^th league defeat of the season, just when you least expected it. It was probably one of the shocks of the season, an incredibly disappointing coupon-buster, but it didn’t feel disastrous in any way. Just that United had been punished for lazily strolling through a game, and given we had been losing to Chelsea, Palace and City recently, you can hardly say a loss wasn’t coming.

The one silver lining was the knowledge that City won the title in a quite pathetic way, watching the TV draped over their Sunday dinner on a wet and miserable evening. Some might ask how City mathematically clinching the league could ever be good, but when you consider at half time last week we were facing the threat of them releasing thousands of fireworks at their stadium in front of us after thrashing their rivals, you begin to understand why this was a bit easier to swallow. They were denied their champagne moment. In any case, they’ve had it wrapped up since late December 2017, so any feelings of despair have long since been dealt with. They can enjoy the last 5 games, whereas United go to Bournemouth as a warm up for an enormous Cup semi with Spurs. It would’ve been beneficial to have been on a run of wins before that crunch game, but United never do it the easy way, do they?

United (4-3-3) De Gea 7; Valencia 5, Smalling 6, Lindelof 6, Young 3.5 (Rashford 75, 5); Herrera 5 (Lingard 46, 5), Matic 5, Pogba 5 (Martial 58, 6); Mata 5, Lukaku 5.5, Sanchez 4.5. 

Man Utd vs West Brom & Everton

Manchester United 0-0 West Bromwich Albion

There were mitigating circumstances here. The international break and wear and tear from our very long season had limited variety in team selection. WBA have been hard to break down all season and had just beaten Arsenal. But still, fuck off. Thankfully I had a party later this evening so I didn’t have to dwell on one of our worst performances of the season. I’m almost glad that my dodgy stream kept cutting out as it gave me some respite from some of the most insipid shite imaginable.

Ok maybe I’m over egging a bit. But ANOTHER home draw against a team who shouldn’t be able to compete with us. Mourinho was flabbergasted that Conor Macnamara had suggested that the two teams had cancelled each other out, and while he was right that only one team was trying, had all the possession, and one team ventured out their half about 5 times during the game… it was very much sterile domination. The worst of LVG. In most of the other home draws it was amazing that we didn’t score, but not this time. We were shit. Or did WBA defend well? Does it even matter, as our top 4 hopes were extinguished?

The depressing tale of the tape of the points dropped at home this year

The team pretty much picked itself. Zlatan and Herrera were banned, Schweinsteiger had finally left for Chicago Fire, Pogba was still not fit, and the international break had accounted for Jones and Smalling (which at least meant not more 5/6 at the back) and most crushingly, Mata out for the foreseeable future after groin surgery. This after he wasn’t named in the Spain squad, so instead of having a fresh player for challenges ahead, we were missing one of our best creators.

The whole team looked sluggish, just waiting for something to happen, and it almost did near the end as Marcus Rashford almost won the match. First a fiercely struck shot from 35 yards out was brilliantly saved by Foster (One of three ex reds to have a good game as well as Fletcher and Evans) before a free kick from a similar range was heading for the top corner before Foster’s intervention. But that was about it (At least we now know young Rash can take free kicks). The forwards deserved the criticism dished out by Mourinho post-match, and it’s becoming clearer how reliant we are on Pogba and Zlatan to create and finish. 75% possession, 18 shots, but only 3 on target. The farcical nature of the game was summed up when in the last minute Rooney and Fellaini got involved in handbags with Yacob instead of trying to score.

United (4-2-3-1) De Gea 6, Valencia 6.5, Bailly 6, Rojo 6.5, Young 6, Carrick 7, Fellaini 7; Lingard 7, Mkhitaryan 5.5 (Rooney 74, 5), Martial 5.5, Rashford 7.

 

Manchester United 1-1 Everton (Ibrahimovic 90+4 pen) (Jagielka 22)

Fucking again.

What actually is the point of discussing this game, I wonder? For it was just the same as all the other home draws this season. At what point do we say that Mourinho is doing a substandard job, seemingly unable to win matches at Old Trafford? United fans have seen that game about 10 times this season. I’m tired of the profligacy, tired of the excuses, tired of the slow build up until we fall behind or subs come on.

3 changes were made from the boring 0-0 vs West Brom. In came Blind for Valencia (who we really missed) and Zlatan and Herrera made a welcome return from suspension for Mkhitaryan and Martial. We started alright against a good team, remember, one that would leapfrog us in the table if they won. But having lost the Merseyside derby on Saturday as well as missing about 5 of their key players (Coleman, Funes Mori, McCarthy, Bolasie, Schneiderlin), surely we could assert ourselves a bit more in the first half, in particular, and why did Jose feel that we needed to play 3 midfielders when we can’t score goals as it is? Rashford looked sharp up against the broken Coleman’s understudy Mason Holgate, but the half soon petered out a little as our midfield and ponderous back 4 exchanged passes across the halfway line for minutes at a time. We did create chances- Zlatan didn’t shoot quickly enough when played in, Youngy, making a very rare forward run, ran onto a Herrera pass before whipping a cross across the box that was missed – but not enough.

We went behind, typically from Everton’s first attack. Blind switched off allowing Mirallas to win a corner off De Gea. Jagielka converted from point blank range through De Gea’s legs after weak defending from Rojo. For fucks sake.

Meanwhile Joel Robles, who was chucking them in vs Liverpool, briefly turned into Gordon Banks when brilliantly saving from a Blind free kick – from which Herrera hit the bar from a tight angle- before tipping a left footed Herrera long ranger wide.

A friend I was watching the game with logically thought our chances created would lead to goals and predicted a 3-1 final score. Having watched this shit all year, I knew better and predicted 0-1 (ok, I need to be a little more optimistic).

The return of Pogba for Blind at the interval led to a big improvement. The £89m man instantaneously headed against the bar from a Young free kick pushing up his woodwork total to fucking umpteen. Everton started to get dirtier, cynically fouling… but it’s up to us, c’mon….

After all the crap that he said this week (About Shaw’s poor mentality and fitness: "I cannot compare the way he trains and commits, the focus, the ambition. He is a long way behind [Blind, Darmian, and Young]") it was in a way typical Mourinho that he brought on Shaw for his first game since Bournemouth in a tough situation. Although it was pleasing to see the kid back, could Martial really not have been used instead? This season, Lingard and Mkhitaryan have both been used at left back when chasing the game, and it was a mystery to me when 1-0 down at home Jose felt able to do without Martial, who seemed to me to be an essential sub. Especially as again there was a load of chickenshit hesitation from us as usual when we got into the final third. The pattern of play needs serious work, as too often we rely on individual brilliance or a long ball game for goals.

Regardless Shaw played quite well, his crossing ability tying in neatly with the two pronged attack of Fellaini and Zlatan. Havoc was created in the area, but chances were still wasted; Fellaini hitting wide on the swivel, Williams putting in blocks, and then two identical headers over from ten yards out. Pogba with a world class ball to Rojo, Rashford to Zlatan, same result. A similar type of move did lead to a goal, but Zlatan was flagged offside when heading in. Replays suggested he was on, but with the luck we’ve had this season we couldn’t complain. It almost got worse as we attacked, but thankfully a combination of Barkley/Lukaku wastefulness and brilliant recovery defending from Eric Bailly (who was tremendous) meant it remained 1-0.

In the 93^rd, a shanked effort from Shaw (Shaw’s shanked redemption) was saved by Ashley Williams, handing the MOTM a red card, and Zlatan tucked in his 16^th league goal of the season. So a 1-1 draw, we obviously should have won, and there were a small amount of boos at full time. Jose responded by going for Shaw again, saying that it was Shaw’s body but his brain, and he had no football intelligence. Jesus he’s getting tiresome.
I know it was a penalty, but it still was another 90 minutes where despite all the chances, no one else but Zlatan scored. Even if it wasn’t a good display from him, his pedigree ensures his importance, and that’s true even more so for Pogba, a classic case of not-knowing-what-you’ve-had-till-it’s-gone-kind-of-thing. Not for me, that is. Just the cavalcade of morons who somehow think Zlatan and Pogba are problems (!!!) in a side where Ashley Young receives regular game time.

For the third consecutive home game, top 4 is officially gone. Or so I thought. True enough, for the 3^rd consecutive game week we were let off, as on Wednesday Liverpool drew against Bournemouth and City lost at Chelsea (Last 3 games for City btw: 1-1 Liverpool (Aguero) 2-2 @ Arsenal (Sane, Aguero) 1-2 Chelsea (Aguero). 1) How clutch is Aguero. 2) That’s 3 excellent results for us that we haven’t capitalised on. 3) Not many difficult games for City now) A win for Arsenal put us back in our spiritual home of 6^th, but somehow we’re still in it. But with Spurs, Arsenal and City away to come, plus Chelsea at home, two points from WBA and Everton is a proper disgrace. It’s all Europa now…

United (4-3-3) De Gea 6; Young 5 (Shaw 65, 7), Bailly 8, Rojo 6, Blind 5 (Pogba 46, 7); Herrera 6, Carrick 6.5 (Mkhitaryan 65, 6), Fellaini 6; Lingard 6.5, Ibrahmovic 6.5, Rashford 6.5.