2018 FA Cup Final - Manchester United 0-1 Chelsea

Manchester United 0-1 Chelsea (Hazard 22 pen)

 

United slipped meekly to defeat in the Cup Final, going out while barely landing a punch on an unspectacular Chelsea team on a spirit-sapping day at Wembley. It was grim, and a bit boring. So much attacking talent, so little threat and bite. A frustrating season ending in a quite fitting way. Too slow, too scared, and second best. Shit.

What’s there to say when we lose like that? It wasn’t a 4-0 romp, we had been defeated only by a penalty from Eden Hazard, and the possession and shots statistics were in our favour. But don’t let the numbers fool you into thinking United were at all impressive out there. It was robotic, stunted, and downright dull. They looked out of ideas too early and energetic too late, a sad end to the season given the optimism with which it had begun. 

United were the favourites going into the last domestic fixture of the season, having finished 3 places above Chelsea in the table. I was very nervous at the start, but then I always am in occasions such as these. Post-Ferugson, it’s no longer a given that United will always be making finals and consistently playing at Wembley, so there is no way I’m turning my nose up at any cup, especially when we’re in the final. Having been at Wembley myself last month to see us dispatch an in-form Spurs, I was quietly confident we could do the same to Chelsea.

The good news for United was that Martial and Lukaku hadn’t been ruled out as had been feared, and were available. The bad news was that neither started – although Martial probably would not have anyway, even if he was 100% fit. Fellaini missed out as well. It was a blow for United to be missing their main goalscorer, as much for his hold up play and bullying of centre-halves as anything else. With Chelsea, a physical game was expected, so to line up instead with Rashford was a bit of weakness.

Not that I thought so before kick-off. While Lukaku starting on the bench was not perfect, I was excited to see young Rash run at Chelsea’s backline. I remembered how he had led the line brilliantly against Chelsea in our 2-0 home win in April 2017, springing Conte’s offside trap regularly. On paper, a front three of Jesse Lingard, Rashford and Alexis Sanchez looked dynamic, pacey and fluid. So apart from Lukaku it was the same team that beat Spurs in the semi – which meant Eric Bailly, who most think is our best defender, was left on the bench. Smalling and Jones had credit in the bank, sure, but the treatment of Bailly by Mourinho in recent weeks has been utterly baffling.

Chelsea went defensive, going with only two forward thinking players really, with Fabregas used mainly to retain possession. Bakayoko has been one of the worst signings across Europe for the 17/18 season, but Antonio Conte placed faith in the Frenchman to make sure his team didn’t get outnumbered In the middle of the park, resisting the temptation to pick Pedro or Willian. Having scored in the semi over Southampton, January purchase Olivier Giroud was preferred over record signing Alvaro Morata.

Chelsea started the better, with Hazard finding space on the left flank on the counter after United had given the ball away carelessly, and shooting at goal with his left foot after running at Jones. De Gea made a smart stop, and United cleared, but that was pretty much that for the opening exchanges. It was a typical final start to be honest, with both sides wanting to ease themselves into the game, and very little in the way of shots on goal. The cagey start didn’t stop both sides gifting the other possession constantly with sloppy errant passes. For the Cup final, it was a game desperately low on quality. It needed a goal really.

It soon got one. Chelsea won the ball back in their half and Fabregas had time to set Hazard away with a long pass; his first touch was exemplary and suddenly Phil Jones was on the back foot. The England world cup defender just about kept pace with Hazard but was unable to get goalside, and decided to go for a last-ditch tackle. I couldn’t really blame him, but the execution was clumsy and it was penalty and a yellow card. From the spot there’s few who are calmer than Hazard and the Belgian duly rolled the ball into the net, sending De Gea the other way.

United initially reacted like I’d want. Herrera pushed up from his ersatz right-back position (to nullify Hazard, and make it easier for him to be man-marked, which had already proven flawed when Chelsea’s star man moved to the right to create the goal) and United created a chance for Pogba from 25 yards, who shot wide. It was the first effort from United to test Chelsea’s defence and keeper.

 


There was very little width for United. Chelsea were extraordinarily compact

Why were United so lacking in attacking vigour? Well, for starters Rashford was having a stinker. The ball was bouncing off him, he was picking the wrong passes, and he was getting outmuscled. Worst of all he wasn’t making the runs in behind that could’ve been so dangerous; instead he came deep, or ran the channels. This often led to the absurd situation where United had the ball in a crossing position but the only man in the box was Sanchez, a man never likely to win a battle in the air with 3 centre-backs. That’s if we had anyone in the box at all, sometimes they had no one to mark and United were simply trying pot-shots from long range.

It didn’t help that Lingard was having a poor start as well, as he wasn’t either wide or forward enough to impact the game like he should. With Sanchez drifting infield as well, width was like gold dust for United. Ashley Young was enterprising enough, happy to take defenders on, but is always hamstrung by his general lack of quality – a problem for Chelsea also, regarding Victor Moses. We were ponderous, too, recycling the ball 30 yards from goal, always taking too many touches, waiting for someone to try a mazy run or an ambitious through ball which seldom happened.

The first half ended just as United’s best moment had come, as someone did indeed perform a mazy run. Pogba motored with the ball through the centre and played a one-two with Sanchez before laying it off to Rashford, who only contrived to scuff his attempted shot straight at a Chelsea defender.

At half-time the overriding feeling was that this was an awful match. There had only been two real chances – the penalty, and the other aforementioned Hazard shot. As good as the Belgian and Fabregas had been, it wasn’t enough to escape the reality that it was an utterly dreadful game, the opposite of what you would want in the showpiece of English football. It had also gone against the theme of recent Cup finals, which have generally been entertaining; look no further than United’s incident-packed triumph over Crystal Palace in 2016 for proof.

Mourinho had obviously got into them at half-time as United started the second half with great intensity, determined to get back on terms. From minute 45-65, United had a great spell, pinning Chelsea back and looking like they were going to score eventually. Of course, Chelsea could afford to sit deep having gone in front so early, and it suited the personnel they had out there. Their attacks in the second half were exclusively counters, with long passes looking for the incisive movement of Hazard.

Valencia, who had been unbelievably ineffective in the first half despite having heaps of the ball, finally made a forward run inside Marcos Alonso picked out by Herrera, also making his first risky pass. We were in behind, but instead of Valencia going for goal or picking out Sanchez he pulled it back straight to Fabregas. Stupid prick. Sanchez instantly won it back with a tigerish sliding tackle and the ball broke for Rashford 20 yards out, who forced a save from Courtois with his powerful but a bit too central strike. The crowd were up for it now and Kante and Rudiger both made vital interceptions just as United were breaking through.

United won a lot of set-pieces in this period, with Chelsea under pressure and looking to break the rhythm of United with fouls. Unfortunately most of them were taken by Rashford, who booted it straight at the first man most of the time. It was mind-numbing to see him on those duties when he was having such a poor day at sending them in, not even considering that as a forward over 6 feet, you would probably want him in the box anyway. Mind you, he did pull out one top delivery from the right when his free-kick was converted by Sanchez on the follow up, although he was offside. Still, United were pushing, with Young starting to play very high up the pitch. Matic had a 30 yarder parried by the rock-solid Courtois.

But United gradually fizzled out, the zip fading from our passing, the lack of pace in our play telling. It was the Blues that had the next big chance with Kante skipping through the tackles to set up Alonso who was denied by De Gea, before Moses hit the ball at Young’s arm in the area. Really, it was too close for the ref to give another penalty.

Out of nowhere came an opportunity for Rashford after a training ground move, with Pogba finding Lingard in his favourite pocket. He let the ball run before slipping in his best mate one-on-one. It was by no means the easiest of chances with a massive keeper coming out and Rashford having to stretch a bit, but it had to go in. Lukaku, I suspect, would’ve found the net with it. Instead, Courtois saved and Mourinho responded by hooking Rashford and Lingard. Taking off Jesse was a tad puzzling in my opinion, just as the number 14 was getting into the game.

So Lukaku and Martial (left out of the French World Cup squad in midweek, prompting more rumours of his exit) were on. I was screaming for Mata as well for Herrera, who seemed to not be aware we were losing, given the fact he wasn’t moving forward with the ball and was still playing the safest passes he could. There are times when Herrera just isn’t needed and today was one of them. His main job was to stop Hazard, who had put us behind - although the Spaniard couldn’t be blamed for the goal which wasn’t in his area. But then, what was he on for now? If Mata had been given more time, he could’ve found a key pass to unlock the door. Instead Herrera finished the game, one of his least memorable in a red shirt. He wasn’t being helped by his captain Valencia though, who was constantly turning back into midfield when he had the chance to get to the by-line.

By now Conte had instructed his team to give up on attacking, and you couldn’t blame them. The only threat was Phil Jones getting injured after a robust challenge by Giroud required him to put on a head bandage, the only thing the dreamy Frenchman did all game. It was all United, but it was all in front of the defence. We weren’t isolating their players or giving them different things to think about. We became increasingly route one, but Cahill and Rudiger were having a comfortable time of it.

The biggest chance fell to Paul Pogba, who screwed a free header wide from a Martial corner. That was the moment really, the only time the Chelsea team switched off. The £89m man had the freedom of Wembley, he had to do better, to at least get it on target. Alas, it wasn’t to be. Chelsea controlled the last 10 minutes, wasting time expertly with their subs taking decades to complete. Martial after a decent run had a little opening, but he found row J. Late sub Mata, of all people, conceded two corners in the dying minutes as the Chelsea supporters loudly cheered every single throw in and corner won, delighting in their players forcing United back, further and further away from a goal that would take it to extra time.



Chelsea celebrate with the famous old trophy

 

The whistle went and Conte was jubilant. For all that this season has been a failure for the Blues (not enough has been said about the reigning champions spending north of £200m,  finishing 5^th and 23 points worse than last season) their manager deserved this moment I think, given the turmoil he’s been faced with off the field. It was his first domestic cup as a manager. Even at their worst, Chelsea seem to be able to churn out trophies, exemplified by Cahill lifting the cup after a difficult season for him personally. Although United in mitigation could say De Gea had nothing to do, Chelsea could respond by saying they never really looked in trouble.

Like it or not, it’s likely if Fellaini had been available for the last 20 minutes we could’ve nicked an equaliser. Chelsea were very comfortable in the air against United, as a half-fit Lukaku couldn’t impose himself as usual against their big defenders. If the big man had been there, Chelsea would’ve been forced to mark him, perhaps even assigning two on him, in turn creating space for others. In the 93^rd minute Matic tamely headed over; if that had been Fellaini it could’ve been different. Though the very idea that United missed Fellaini out there suggests how shocking they were.

While Valencia is hardly the biggest problem at United, in football today the full-backs are so important, and indeed no one got the ball more for United in threatening positions than him and Young. I really don’t want to watch a lot more of him receiving the ball, doing that little leg shuffle, then passing backwards. The captain for the day was really pathetic, seemingly unable to dribble anymore, offering nothing. Young was giving it his all, offering his teammates an option, but as I’ve already said, he just isn’t that good, willing but unable to change the game.

Sanchez has played 18 times for United since he arrived, and has scored a grand total of 3 goals, one of which was a penalty rebound. It is not reactionary to say he has been downright crap for us given his handsome wages. The man has an awesome record at Wembley – I saw it for myself in the semi-final, when he was excellent – but he did fuck all in the final, like in a lot of games he has played so far for us. Spurs and City away apart, he has not been the player we all expected him to be, or saw at Arsenal. In the summer, he will have his first extended break from football since 2013. Let’s hope he comes back refreshed, because more of this will be hard to accept from such a talented player.

It’s not just Sanchez. Pogba as well was disappointing. He was decent, don’t get me wrong, helping us progress forward and running hard all afternoon. But where was an imposing display from our best player in what turned out to be the biggest game of the season? Where was the Lingard from the winter? But most all, where was the master of finals, the serial winner that is Jose Mourinho? He had his own tactics based on organisation and concentration used against him by a man who he had a spat with earlier on in the campaign. I hope it hurt him, as ending the season trophyless should hurt all of them, even though there are clear signs of progress from last season.

For us not to score against a team playing like *that* is slightly embarrassing. It’s one thing playing on the counter but there were essentially only two attacking players in their line-up. They were sharp in the first half, decisive in the penalty incident, and to be fair, retained their focus and concentration against the almost constant United possession in the 2^nd half. They did deserve their eighth FA Cup, even if for the neutral it was like watching paint dry.

It’s been a good season, generally, but it has definitely been tarnished by this schoolboy performance. Thankfully the world cup arrives to stop us from licking our wounds all summer.

United (4-3-3) De Gea 6.5; Valencia 5.5, Smalling 6, Jones 5 (Mata 87), Young 6; Herrera 4.5, Matic 5.5, Pogba 6; Lingard 5 (Martial 73, 4), Rashford 3.5 (Lukaku 73, 5), Sanchez 5.

Chelsea (5-3-2) Courtois 7.5; Moses 6, Azpilicueta 6, Cahill 7, Rudiger 7, Alonso 5.5; Fabregas 6.5, Kante 7, Bakayoko 5; Giroud 4.5 (Morata 89), Hazard 7 (Willian 90+1).

Crystal Palace 2-3 Manchester United Monday 5th March

Crystal Palace 2-3 Manchester United (Townsend 11, Van Aanholt 48) (Smalling 55, Lukaku 76, Matic 90+1)

"I have never been involved in a comeback like that before , I used to watch them on TV" - Marcus Rashford on Twitter, the morning after the night before.

Football, eh? Bloody Hell. What a game, what a shitshow, what a stunning comeback, what a winning goal from Nemanja Matic. A rollercoaster of emotions, and at the very end, an outpouring of joy, and regaining our place in 2^nd ahead of the game against Liverpool next week.

It really shouldn’t be this hard, after all the investment. How can United swing so violently in competence from game to game? After Chelsea, everything felt positive. And yet, United spent most of Monday evening frantically trying to avoid disaster. The wonderful resilience shown by the players was heartening, but does not erase how woeful we were in the opening 70 minutes. Our best players were dogshit, but we had managed to win… why do we wait until we concede before trying hard to score?

Only one change was made from Chelsea, with hero from last week Jesse Lingard coming in for Martial, who didn’t travel due to a minor injury. Herrera, Fellaini, Rojo, Jones and Blind were still out. McTominay started again.

Those United fans were in quality form all evening, coming across loud and clear on Sky serenading Eric Cantona, much to the anger of the Selhurst Ultras. Although there was nothing to shout about in a shambolic first period which counts among the very worst since Mourinho took the job.

It is difficult to know where to start. The attitude was unrecognisable from the Chelsea game. The whole team were second to every loose ball, unconvincing in the tackle, way too relaxed in possession. With both wide players floating inside, there was no width. We were playing too deep, with no movement up top, a recipe for stodgy disaster. Simple long balls from Palace were causing us problems, and at the other end there were no platforms for attack, with slow passes not stretching a makeshift Palace back four, or testing the dodgy Wayne Hennessey.

We were behind soon enough, losing the ball easily to allow Christian Benteke to set up Andros Townsend to score from a deflection off Lindelof, who turned his back. It was deserved, and there was little reaction from United. Instead Palace went close to doubling their lead a few times before the half-time whistle with Benteke and Sorloth proving a real handful in the air.

Roy Hodgson – whose England work was always appreciated by me – had made his Palace team tough to beat and had improved them no end since their shocking start but he was left with one hand tied behind his back here with so many first teamers out injured. His star man Wilfried Zaha was the headline but there were numerous others who were unavailable: Dann, Sakho, Sako, Puncheon, Cabaye, Speroni, Ward, the United loanee Fosu-Mensah, Loftus-Cheek and long-term crock Wickham. Yet their organisation remained, set up in two banks of four to deny space and push the defensive line of the visitors back.

Sanchez was a disgrace in that first half, unable to do anything right. Continually he moved infield into traffic, hit heavy passes straight out of play, and mis-controlled passes, his touch deserting him. Not that he was alone. Valencia was static off the ball, afraid to do anything unsafe. McTominay barely touched the ball, and I would hazard a guess that the young lad was hiding on the toughest evening of his career so far. Pogba was the opposite, coming way too deep to start attacks, and unprepared and lackadaisical when he had possession. Matic looked weak and tired in the midfield. Young was just terrible. The 4-3-3 basically meant more players doing fuck all and one less game changer than usual.

 

Red Rom loves it.

Mourinho reacted to a pathetic first half by hauling off McTominay for Rashford, switching to 4-2-3-1. The young flier made an impact instantly testing the pace of the Palace defenders, wanting to isolate himself 1 on 1 with his markers. Pogba and Matic were finding him a lot in the opening moments of the second half, but no telling chance was created. That was mainly down to rookie Palace right-back Aaron Wan-Bissaka, who was my man of the match for his never-say-die attitude and his desire to put tackles and blocks in.

The best laid plans were in tatters as Palace scored another, and it was amateur hour again as we switched off from a free-kick that was quickly taken by Schlupp, playing the speedy Van Aanholt through. No one was going to catch him, and he lashed it past De Gea to send Selhurst Park into dreamland. The last time we had come back from 2-0 to win a league game was in December 2013 against Hull.

Two down, staring at the abyss, United finally punched back. A corner was cleared and from the resulting opportunity, Valencia carefully measured a cross from a central position onto Smalling’s head, with Tomkins suffering a brainfade by keeping him onside. Game on.

United took control of the game, helped by taking off Valencia and Young, who were both utterly hopeless, and bringing on Luke Shaw and Juan Mata, with Lingard pushed to right-back in an attacking move. It made sense, and Lingard had played at full-back against Bournemouth last season. As for Shaw, it was pleasing to see him enter the pitch in our hour of need, what with his form over Christmas and Young’s recent ineptitude. But he was definitely carrying a bit of timber. Or maybe he had about 4 layers on? It was a cold evening in South London, to be fair…

The next period of the game would’ve been enormously enjoyable for the neutral, although it was torturous for me. The game was completely stretched, with both teams frantic and full of panic. United were forcing things too quickly, rushing through moves and playing over ambitious passes. Palace dropped way too deep, terrified of the onslaught they knew were coming.

Without sounding like a know-it-all, in hindsight Palace had given so much already, and were so weakened by the absences, that them crumbling was inevitable. Constant defensive mistakes were made allowing United in, saved only by luck or last ditch tackles – like when Benteke of all people cleared off the line from Matic after a corner with the keeper beaten. Not that I could view the game with such clarity when it was going on, mind.

Mata was making a difference as he often does when United are having a bad game, his speed of thought, happy knack for finding gaps and calm demeanour was beginning to take effect and calm his teammates down. He always provided options, making himself available. Lingard at RB was a revelation; dribbling at the defence, pinning them back, allowing Mata ahead of him more space to come inside. Lukaku was winning more in the air, and deservedly put us on terms when reacting fastest to a Sanchez shot that had ricochet onto the bar after the best bit of interplay around the box all game had created the opening. He controlled and pretended to shoot about 4 times, having a clear picture in his head, allowing the defenders to crowd the keeper and block his vision. You don’t score as many as him without having composure in front of goal and the Belgian eventually stroked it home, leading the team in big celebration. We were now favourites.

But we needed Ge Dea, as per, to save us with an athletic save from a Benteke header that was improbable enough for the Belgian striker and one time Lukaku rival to already be off in celebration. Spanish Dave is just magnificent, and there is no more anyone can say. Really he deserves cunts in front of him who are actually capable of sticking with their markers.

However, despite all the trying, it looked like we had run out of time, with Palace squeezing every last drop of energy from all of their players, lactic acid burning in their arms as they blocked shot after shot and rose again and again to head crosses away. But in the 91^st minute after the umpteenth ball was blocked, the ball at up nicely for Matic about 30 yards from goal. The crowd, his teammates and yours truly were yelling at him to pass out wide but instead he unleashed an incredibly sweet half-volley into the top corner, sending the fans completely barmy in the process.



Auto-Matic!





What a fucking moment, what a comeback, what a way to score your first United goal. He can strike a ball (like vs Everton in 15/16, and in the Cup semi vs Spurs last April) but his shots for United have largely been erratic. For such a high-quality goal to be scored in those circumstances by Matic was simply orgasmic. He led a mass of United bodies who ran to the away end, celebrating intensely with the faithful. Magic from Matic. Scenes mate. Scenes.



The Reds regrouped to see off any Palace pressure and the final whistle came and the ground emptied remarkably quickly with the home team feeling sick after snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. Forgetting the wretched performance for a moment, that’s what football is all about, last minute winners from behind away from home. Great stuff. But now, onto the troubling post-mortem…

Sanchez was shocking throughout, but it must be said, as bad as he played, he never once gave up, always on the move, playing pretty much central midfield late on to try and get on the ball and create. Although, our big signing promptly fucked it up almost every time. Still, having a player who takes risks and keeps plugging away, keeps trying that chip through ball to the far post will surely be a good thing over time, but Jesus, it wouldn’t kill him to recycle it now and then. He simply must improve, get less wasteful and start justifying his enormous pay-packet soon, because United have looked muddled since he arrived. Everyone deserves a bedding-in period, but the crunch games are coming thick and fast and if he isn’t gelling with the rest of the team he should be starting games amongst the substitutes. Although like Pogba, he possesses the ability to come up with something special no matter how badly he’s playing.

Valencia and Young were both embarrassing, and that is not being unkind. They looked nervous and unconvincing in defence, and were insipid in attack. Remember these are wingers, of some repute, by trade. So you can forgive some defensive lapses – but how can they not provide something that causes a second string Palace team a problem? When you start with Lingard and Sanchez as the wingers, you know the full-backs must provide the width, and that might’ve been a mistake by the manager. Instead Valencia was barely over the halfway-line, and Young simply passed back to the receiver whenever he got it. Sure, they’re on the other side of their peaks, but there is little excuse for such a poor performance.

Of course, it needs to be said that the skipper Valencia has generally been very good for the last three years, against better judgement. He should be allowed off days, even if they are shockers (You knew he was bad when Jose took him off – he is usually one of his most trusted lieutenants). But clubs that we are competing against for honours probably wouldn’t tolerate a well past his best former winger at right-back. His obvious weaknesses don’t stack up well at all against Europe’s best. Given the importance of them in today’s game, perhaps Right-back is an area to strengthen in the summer. (I still love you Tony V, obvs.)

A left-back could be signed as well, although I would rather just give Luke Shaw a good run. The fact that the, ahem, heavy looking lad came on at all tells you everything about how bad Young was, especially when you consider Shaw has never been a favourite of Mourinho. Young has played above himself for long periods this season, even forcing himself back into the England squad, and he deserves kudos for that. But don’t get it twisted, he is nowhere near United standard in any position he plays. Consistently Young has been exposed positionally. He’s a survivor – I would’ve sold him in the summer of 2014. He’s a good character, big in the dressing room, a top guy and by all accounts a really good professional. But he’s just a bit shit, and the odd teasing cross won’t convince me otherwise.

Having said all of that though, it was a mighty fine comeback, demonstrating our spirit, and despite there being lots to dislike, the subs helped change the game and keep us on track. Mourinho made the right changes at the right time, and the lads turned it around. Well done, now try and not lose to Liverpool on Saturday.

United (4-3-3) De Gea 8; Valencia 3 (Mata 67, 7.5), Smalling 7, Lindelof 5.5, Young 3.5 (Shaw 67, 6); McTominay 5 (Rashford 46, 6.5), Matic 7, Pogba 6; Lingard 7, Lukaku 7.5, Sanchez 5.

Manchester United vs Huddersfield (H) and Newcastle (A)

Manchester United 2-0 Huddersfield (Lukaku 55, Sanchez 68)

United got back on track with a comfortable win, in the end, over a very poor Huddersfield side who seemed to focus more on fouling Alexis Sanchez than attempting to score. A 15^th clean sheet of the season was never in doubt, and neither was the result once the deadlock was broken with an excellent goal; Nemanja Matic won the ball and fed it to Juan Mata on the left, who whipped in a class ball for Romelu Lukaku to volley home. His 19^th goal of the season ended the game as a contest, but it needed the second for United to be calm. Sanchez, making his Old Trafford debut, finished the game when he followed in his own saved penalty, after being fouled for the umpteenth time. He took control despite having a poor penalty record, (which only got worse here) but then again, so do quite a lot of our players.

The tenacious and determined Sanchez was the star of this show, taking the acclaim of the Stretford End at the end after an all-action performance. The Chilean on the mythical wages was the trigger for the attacks, always wanting the ball, drifting into space and driving in possession. While others talk about the numbers, Alexis will just get on with helping his new team win matches. He’d struggled at Spurs (like everyone else), but here was terrific.

It was off pitch stuff that was headline news. This was the Munich 60^th anniversary game, with the ‘We’ll Never Die’ flag passed around before kick-off. It was fitting on such a day that youth graduate Scott McTominay surprisingly started, after Paul Pogba was punished for his insolence against Spurs by being relegated to the bench. He wasn’t the only one, with Jones, Young, and Martial also dropping out. Pogba duly came on to help create the penalty situation, and hopefully Mourinho has sent him a message; He might be our best player, but he is still part of a team, and a squad. No one is safe from being dropped.

McTominay’s enduring memory from this occasion will be being pole-axed by Terence Kongolo in the area, but no penalty and red card was forthcoming, incredibly. That’s it, really. I mean, I didn’t even watch this game, to be honest. But no matter, the 3 points had been secured.

United (4-2-3-1) De Gea 6; Valencia 7, Smalling 6.5, Rojo 7, Shaw 6; McTominay 7, Matic 6.5; Mata 7 (Rashford 71, 6), Lingard 6 (Pogba 65, 7), Sanchez 8; Lukaku 7.5 (Martial 77, 6).

 

Newcastle 1-0 Manchester United (Ritchie 65)

 

Just when things appear as if they’re going to work out, Manchester United contrive to fall apart again. Once more in the post-Ferguson era, it was one step forward, one step back for the Reds. This defeat at St James’ is easily one of the most unforgivable, due to the meek surrender of the points, the chances spurned, and the lack of the quality on show from the opponents. The barcodes barely had to break sweat to keep up Rafa Benitez’s great head-to-head record against Jose Mourinho. Genuinely, I didn’t see this coming at all.

Mourinho picked the same XI that had slipped to defeat at Wembley, which basically confirmed that he does see Ashley Young as first choice left-back, for better or worse. His pool of players were left weakened by minor injuries to Herrera and Rashford, meaning they couldn’t travel. From memory, it was the first time since Rashford made his breakthrough that he had been forced to miss a game through injury. Still, there was plenty of attacking flair in the line-up, enough to overpower the Geordies, anyway.

The game had an electric beginning as Jonjo Shelvey sent in a piledriver which was kept out by De Gea, and Lukaku could only connect with an air-shot from an Alexis cross. Sanchez had started brightly, his elusive dribbling and the ability to ghost past markers evident from the off. But he didn’t get much opportunity to show this, as United were struggling to progress out of our half. Our centre-halves were having way too much of the ball, with Matic and Pogba not coming deep enough to help build attacks.

Newcastle had pace to burn through Chelsea loanee Kenedy, who stung the palms of De Gea with a fierce strike from 25 yards, but United began to find their feet and create chances. Lingard’s shot was pushed out for a corner by the debutant Martin Dubravka in goal, before the best chance of the half. Lukaku smartly touched the ball round the corner for Matic, who played Martial in with an incisive through ball. One-on-one, Martial blinked first, and his tame sidefooted effort was blocked well by the Slovakian international Dubravka, who I had never heard of before. I was expecting Karl Darlow between the sticks for the Geordies, but instead it was their deadline day loan signing from Sparta Prague. So of course, he was brilliant.

Juan Mata would’ve been useful in the first half. United had lots of the ball, decreasing the need for Lingard’s sharp movement, instead requiring the extra vision, guile, and creativity of Mata. At half time, the feeling was disappointment; the possession hadn’t translated into territory. It didn’t help that Martial, missed chance aside, was operating from the right, which he still seemed uncertain with. Again, it was worth asking why our most in-form forward had to change his position to accommodate Sanchez, rather than the other way around. To be fair to Alexis, he was a cut above his teammates in the first half, in particular Lingard, having a gash few minutes before the break, ruining counters.

United were in the middle of their best period of the game. Lukaku had the ball in the net on 53 minutes, but was adjudged to have pushed and climbed on the defender, which was probably true. Alexis dribbled through the defenders showing immense skill and change of direction, winning a corner after his shot was blocked, but then 2 minutes later he missed an unbelievable chance. Lukaku played him in with a world class ball, the Chilean rounded the keeper, but couldn’t quite sort his feet out in time and his weak effort was blocked before it could reach the empty net. Fuck.

United were complicit in their own downfall, missing these chances, and we were made to pay. Chris Smalling, the fucking donkey, didn’t learn from almost giving a penalty away in the first half, and dived over a challenge on the halfway line. Yep. Our 6”3 strong commanding centre-back dived, giving away a free-kick. Shelvey stood it up, Lejeune nodded it down, Gayle flicked it on, and Matt Ritchie had the freedom on Tyneside in the penalty area to convert past De Gea and put the Geordie nation into raptures. It was a decent training ground set-piece but the marking was non-existent. Fuck off Smalling. We had let the game drift, and now we were behind.

I mean...

 

United initially responded well, Ashley Young controlling a ball from Michael Carrick brilliantly and having a strike at goal saved. Oh yeah, that was Carrick, making his first league appearance of the season, on for Paul Pogba after the goal went in. The attention obviously fell on Pogba afterwards, and it is notable that after always playing 90 minutes, he now hasn’t completed it in the last 3 league games. He didn’t look fully fit, but when Shelvey plays around you like he did here, questions need to be asked. We need more, a lot more, from our talisman.

United then were too passive, too reactive, as Newcastle settled in a deep block. Jose threw his last roll of the dice, sending on Scott McTominay in place of Matic for extra threat in the air. We’ve spent over half a billion on the squad and yet when chasing the game we brought on McTominay and Carrick. Let that sink in.

Martial had the best chances, from a corner he had two bites of the cherry from close range but struck the same man on the line twice as the clock ticked by. Lukaku was having one of his best non-goal United games, but someone else needed to finish, and it just wasn't happening. Dubravka, who had played against England in September, was solid and communicative with his battling defence, always helping them. One final chance was saved again, from a Carrick prod late on, but Newcastle hoofed clear and the Geordies celebrated their win. An awful result for United.

So where do we start with that- can Pogba actually not play in a two? Is Matic shattered? Are Smalling and Jones an accident waiting to happen? Who knows. As shit as Smalling is and was, Newcastle kept a clean sheet. They hadn’t won at home for months and yet we scored 0 past them. That ain’t Smalling’s fault. The free-kick was just in our half, hardly a dangerous area for a set-piece. We should’ve had it covered. Credit should also be given to Benitez’s side, from their debutant keeper to the performance of Shelvey, reminiscent of his Swansea form that won him a few England caps.

It looks like we’ve lost the opportunity to be comfortable in 2^nd place and instead will have to scrap it out with the others to stay in the top 4. We’ve been given the chances to move clear by the mistakes and slip-ups from the rest but we’ve blown it and now will be unable to concentrate fully on the cups, which looked possible only a couple of weeks ago.  

United (4-2-3-1) De Gea 6.5; Valencia 6, Smalling 4, Jones 6, Young 6; Pogba 5.5 (Carrick 66, 5.5), Matic 6 (McTominay 77, 5); Martial 5.5, Lingard 5 (Mata 66, 5.5), Sanchez 6.5; Lukaku 7.5.

Newcastle (4-4-1-1) Dubravka 8; Yedlin 6, Lascelles 7, Lejeune 7.5, Dummett 7; Ritchie 7.5, Diame 6.5, Shelvey 7, Kenedy 6.5 (Atsu 84); Perez 6 (Hayden 90+4); Gayle 6 (Joselu 80)

Yeovil 0-4 Manchester United FA Cup 4th Round

Yeovil 0-4 Manchester United (Rashford 41, Herrera 61, Lingard 89, Lukaku 90+3)

Some debuts live long in the memory, like Rooney’s vs Fenerbahce, or Ronaldo’s vs Bolton. Other debuts barely ever register even to those who were there. Whatever he does in his Old Trafford career, there won’t be many people who will turn to the side and wistfully reminisce about Alexis Sanchez’s bow at Huish Park, of all places. Yeovil fought hard on their evening in the sun, with the match live on the BBC on Friday night, complete with Arsenal alumnus Martin Keown sniping at our new number 7 at every possible moment. But United were business-like, professional and progressed quite comfortably into the 5^th Round of the Cup, without ever utterly dominating Yeovil. 
That was noteworthy as Yeovil sat 21^st in League Two at kick-off, the lowest ranked team remaining in the draw, but the much anticipated giant-killing was never likely, even though the Red Devils had a nervy first 20 minutes on a cabbage patch of a pitch that looked more suited to a primary school field than a stage befitting Sanchez.

The new buy was obviously the star attraction, his name and picture splattered everywhere, be it the match programme, the newspapers, and the TV trailers. Even United’s own propaganda machine seemed to forget there were 10 other players momentarily. But then, if you weren’t an ABU weirdo, you knew what the result was going to be; it was only natural the ex-Arsenal winger was granted the column inches. What were they going to write about – Yeovil? The Somerset team were pretty much ignored in the build-up, not that they minded much with the TV pounds flowing through the clubs’ coffers. It was three years ago that United had been here in the 3^rd round, with Herrera scoring that great instinctive goal on the turn. The Basque midfielder must surely put Yeovil just behind Zaragoza in his list of favourite clubs.

Yeovil started brightly, pressing a nervous looking United, who had made 10 changes from the win over Burnley with only Juan Mata keeping his place. (The most important players - Pogba, Jones, De Gea, Valencia and MARTIAL (!!!!) - were left at home.) Gradually though the team from the higher division found their feet and got the passing game flowing. Sanchez, stationed on the left but always looking to roam, seemed desperate to impress and whenever he got possession he showed off that burst of acceleration that has left defenders behind all over the world for the best part of a decade. I’m well aware it was only bloody Yeovil, but there was something about the way the tempo rose when the ball fell to him that was reminiscent of early Ronaldo. He also attempted audacious switches of play and through balls looking for the centre-forward Rashford, but most were over-hit and drifted out of play, leading to mocking cheers from the home crowd. Ah, yes. Our new man was booed throughout, getting a bit of the Sterling treatment. I do think if you asked the Yeovil fans (the ones who only swelled the crowd to see United, not the regulars) afterwards why they were giving him such a hostile reception they wouldn’t have a fucking clue, with a 52-year-old bloke probably muttering something about Sanchez being a ‘mercenary’. Never mind, they won’t see another game for a couple of years – at least until the next big home cup tie.

Still, at least he was trying things, as it couldn’t be avoided that a very expensive United team were being, shall we say, thoughtful in their passing. That’s a euphemism for slow and dull, by the way. It took until the deadlock was broken to assert our dominance but the goal itself was lucky, with Rashford’s poor touch from Sanchez’s ball falling to a defender, who then contrived to allow the Mancunian kid to steal in and tuck away the opener after beckoning his keeper to come and clear the ball when it was clear he had no intention of doing so. Forget League Two, this was barely Essex Combined Counties Division Four (West) level defending. How can you have such a lack of communication? The away end didn’t care, breathing a sigh of relief knowing the game was already done. I would suggest Rashford, going through a rotten run of form for the first time in his precocious career, didn’t mind how scrappy his goal was either.

For all the shouting, it pretty much was. Sure, Darmian, making his first appearance since the humbling at Bristol City, contrived to make some League Two cloggers look good with his flat fucking feet. Moreover, a couple of agricultural reducers challenges were put in on Alexis to the smug glee of Keown. But it was easy street for us, with the home crowd now quiet unless Sanchez had the ball, spending their time taking photos of the players they were abusing a few minutes before. The United fans created the atmosphere, with special attention given to Michael Carrick and the ‘hard to believe it’s not Scholes’ chant in celebration of the return of the club captain. After a heart scare, the lanky Geordie was back, calming the midfield down, admittedly against the gentlest of opponents. But no matter, for it was his first outing since Burton Albion in the Carabao Cup in September, and it was just nice to see him come through unscathed.

The game still needed a second goal though, and it duly came from a slick counter from our own corner. The ball was cleared to Mata who expertly controlled before waiting for Sanchez to carry the ball forward. Rashford made the decoy run, and the Chile superstar made the right decision to pick out Herrera, who controlled before converting with his left foot. Cue an arms-pumping celebration from another player who will take confidence from a goal after a hard time of his own recently.

Our new signing had showed off his footwork and dribbling skills but he had tired. (only natural after not starting recent Arsenal games with the move imminent) A bit more zest was needed and Mourinho, on his 55^th birthday, sent on Lingard and Lukaku after a couple of chances were spurned. There was a wait for the next goal, but it was worth it, for it was yet another sublime individual goal from Lingard, his 12^th of the season. How can you not love this guy, academy graduate and all, when he runs into the crowd after a scoring the third against Yeovil. No meaningless games for this lad. His determination to make an impact would not have gone unnoticed back on the dugout, with Mourinho likely to be deciding between Lingard and Mata to make way for Sanchez. After this run and finish from the Warrington wizard, the Spanish blogger surely sits on the bench at Wembley against Spurs in midweek.

The fourth goal came almost straight away with Herrera spotting the run of Marcos Rojo, of all people, in the inside left channel and the Argentine’s cross was volleyed smartly into the roof of the net by Lukaku for yet another goal. But far more pleasing was the little run from Angel Gomes, who had come on for fellow academy kid Rashford for only his second United appearance. The u17 World Cup winner received the ball on the left and beat the defender Ribery-style only to hit the side netting. It was only a glimpse, but the confidence he plays with at such a young age is so promising. Although, he’s still a few meat and potato dinners away from taking a place in a premier league side.  

Yeovil deserve credit but our 6^th successive clean sheet was always going to happen, and United march on once more. Carrick, Gomes, the goal-scorers, and Mourinho’s new contract which was signed on Thursday – there was a lot to be content with, even without mentioning the first Chilean to play for Manchester United. But let’s finish with him anyway. It wasn’t Rooney vs Fener. It wasn’t even Hernandez in the Community Shield. But Alexis Sanchez is a Red.

United (4-3-3) Romero 7; Darmian 5.5, Lindelof 6.5, Rojo 7, Shaw 6.5; Herrera 7, Carrick 6.5, McTominay 6; Mata 6.5 (Lukaku 65, 7), Rashford 6 (Gomes 88), Sanchez 7.5 (Lingard 72, 7.5).

Burnley 0-1 Manchester United

Burnley 0-1 Manchester United (Martial 54)

 

A rather sleepy Saturday afternoon in Lancashire was ignited by Anthony Martial’s superb winning goal in the second half, to clinch another win to nil for Jose Mourinho’s men. It was a tough encounter, with defences on top, but once again United had our French flier to thank for keeping us on track.

This was not vintage United, but then it hardly ever is against the Burnley of Sean Dyche. We’ve never blown them away, either in 14-15 or since they got promoted the second time. Due to a neat quirk in the fixture list, the memories of Boxing Day, and being 2-0 down in no time at all, were fresh in the memories of the Reds. Or should that be the light greys, as United lined up in our god awful, make-your-eyes-bleed 2^nd kit again. Is this really what Adidas pay all those millions for? Oh fuck, I’m moaning about kits, I’m even sadder than I knew I was.

United rather laboured to the win, but that didn’t mean there weren’t impressive elements – like a 5^th consecutive clean sheet for us, since we last played Burnley. An amazing coincidence, but not as amazing as the commanding defending of Phil Jones. He has been pretty low down on the list of players receiving acclaim this campaign, yet there is no more consistent centre-back in the country. When he’s fit, of course. Mourinho has improved him, or rather restored him back to his late 2013 peak. It was difficult out there, with him being booed by the Turf Moor faithful throughout due to his Blackburn Rovers connections, but he came through it, and with his partner Smalling got us over the line amid a barrage of late balls into the box.

Mind, Burnley were never out of the game, and Icelandic international Gudmundsson hit the bar with a free-kick, plus the terrific James Tarkowski was mere inches away from getting contact on a low cross from the right late on. As an aside, Dyche must perform a big gravelly frightening laugh every time he see his former charge Michael Keane struggle for Everton knowing he had Tarkowski to come in and replace him and form a solid partnership with Ben Mee. Considering he lost Andre Gray to Watford as well, you have to tip your hat to resourcefulness of Dyche. Back to the game though, for all this pressure, United were comfortable, despite being pinned back. It was encouraging, and once again the cliché needs saying – last year, we would’ve drawn that game. It would’ve been our own fault though, as Pogba, Martial and sub Rashford all wasted chances to kill the contest in the second half.

This season has been harshly judged, thanks to Guardiola’s barely believable mob up the road breaking records with their potential points tally. But we’re alright, y’know. The big summer buy Lukaku has not been anywhere near as bad as has been suggested, and he proved his class again by providing the goal, demonstrating superb awareness and decision making to advance with the ball before stopping and finding Martial with a perfect ball. The number 11’s coolness in front of goal did the rest, placing the ball in the top corner with aplomb. That made it 3 league goals in as many games for Martial. The forward is improving all the time and his recent form, as well as his undeniable talent, will surely keep him in the team even if the dog-obsessive from the Emirates joins to add a certain individualism to the attack. By now, even as harsh a critic as Mourinho can no longer be evasive about the ability of our fleet-footed Frenchman. “Of course we are happy with him. We just want consistency, we know he has the talent”.

It is hard to dislike Dyche. Even when he makes a pithy remark about the different financial worlds the two teams were operating in (“The defining moment is an absolutely fantastic finish from a player they brought in for a lot of money” was how he described Martial’s winner to the BBC) I find him admirable. Yes, he may play the victim at times when it comes to referees, and he does revel much like Big Sam in the whole I-would-be-getting-a-lot-more-praise-if-i-was-foreign-and-exoctic bollocks. But at the same time, his team and his tactical awareness constantly leave me impressed. The world is good if you are a Burnley fan right now – at least until someone further up the food chain poaches their gaffer.

The only tiny little concern of note was that after his 3 match ban, Young was selected ahead of the in-form Luke Shaw at left-back in our only change from the win over Stoke. This decision was pretty straightforward in hindsight as the experienced utility man was fresh while his teammates had been exerted by the Christmas period, and after so many matches on the trot it seemed sensible to give Shaw a breather – after all, he hasn’t played many consecutive games since his leg break. However, given that Burnley away is no walk in the park, you would expect the strongest team, and if Young is still ahead of Shaw in the pecking order when everything is equal, it would worry me slightly. Although perhaps to prove that I should shut my clumsy mouth, Youngy was one of our best players, especially in transition to set up counters late on.

Arsene Wenger implied that Alexis Sanchez missed the 4-1 cakewalk at home to Palace because he was already on his way up north, and whatever the real truth, it does seem likely that by the time United visit League Two Yeovil, the Chilean will be a Man United player. Certainly, Emirates-bound Mkhitaryan was never in consideration for the starting XI here. This transfer saga has barely lasted a fortnight yet I’m already tired of it, and the press crap that comes with it, and the idea that Alexis must be a money grabbing mercenary to turn down Oil-rich Man City in favour of the biggest football club in the world. City trying to take the moral high ground over money (Sanchez would upset their wage structure, apparently) has been a twist in this soap opera I definitely didn’t see coming. It does look done at the time of writing however, quite incredible given the English press had decided he would be at the Etihad by now. So, United bringing in a world-class player in January you say? Aye mate, and a reality TV star will be President and all, you daft prick.

United (4-2-3-1) De Gea 7.5; Valencia 7, Smalling 7.5, Jones 8.5, Young 7.5; Pogba 6.5, Matic 7; Mata 5.5 (Fellaini 72, 6), Lingard 5.5 (Rashford 80, 5), Martial 8 (Herrera 90+4); Lukaku 7.5.

Manchester United 3-0 Stoke

Manchester United 3-0 Stoke (Valencia 9, Martial 38, Lukaku 72)

It had been 10 days since Manchester United had last kicked a ball in anger against Derby in the cup, a rare long-ish break in the middle of the season which Jose Mourinho had taken to full advantage, spending much of the time in Dubai. The Portuguese gaffer gushed about the warm weather and the facilities, and a previously jaded United arrived for the Monday evening game refreshed. Off field matters had taken up the journalist’s attention during the lull, such as Mourinho’s war of words with Conte, (‘I don’t act like a clown’ “He has senile dementia” ‘I will never be banned for match-fixing’ “He is a little man”) and United’s seemingly on a whim pursuit of Alexis Sanchez.

The wantaway Arsenal flier was the talk of the terraces, and a compilation of his goals was even shown on MUTV. But the game kicked off with no deal looking imminent, although the Red Devils were in the driving seat. City had balked at the wage demands of the Chilean, and we had muscled in. The day before, after Arsenal’s loss at Bournemouth, Wenger had said Sanchez’s future would be resolved within 48 hours, but the Arsenal chief does say a lot of shite these days. Mkhitaryan was left out of the squad, after Jose had said he would be involved, amid speculation the Armenian would be going the other way to Sanchez. He has almost certainly played his last game for Manchester United.

While no one is sure about who exactly will be at Carrington in February, what you can bet your life on is Paul Pogba being United’s best player for the foreseeable future. The number 6 was sensational.

There are people who don’t rate Pogba, or at the very least believe he’s overhyped. This is baffling, as Pogba’s strengths are so obvious, even on his bad days. You don’t have to study him, like you do Busquets, to truly appreciate his impact on matches. No one who has watched him for more than a handful of games can have any doubt about his talent, so it must be bitterness, jealously, or good old fashioned ABU syndrome, that explains why he is not feted like De Bruyne.  

Speaking of the two-footed ginger, Pogba equalled his assists record for the season against Stoke, putting them both on 9. The Frenchman has played 10 less games though, due to his injuries and suspensions. After this win,  and City's first loss of the season on Sunday against Liverpool, the gap between the Manchester clubs was 12 points; it’s tempting to wonder what it would be if United’s talisman had been available in all the league games this season. He really was an absolute steal at £89m, it was quite laughable how easy he found it to run this game. A complete footballer.

It was the returning Antonio Valencia who put United in front, a real collector’s item too: A goal from his left peg! He collected Pogba’s ball before shifting it and curling it home for his 3^rd league strike of the campaign. We’ve missed him in his absence. Perhaps it was the potential arrival of the dog-shagging weirdo that is Sanchez that led to such a high-tempo start, with the attacking players keen to show Jose what they were about. United, full of confidence after the early goal, started to dominate possession and push Stoke back.

It’s the first time I’ve mentioned the away side, despite them being full of intrigue as well. After four and a half years of Mark Hughes, Stoke had fired him and appointed Paul Lambert, amazingly after an underwhelming spell with Wolves. It’s great being a British manager isn’t it? So many failures, so many opportunities. Mind, the dour Scot (is there any other kind?) did a superb job with Norwich which shouldn't be forgotten, no matter how eye-scratchingly bad his Villa team were to watch. either way, the new boss was at Old Trafford watching his new charges for the first time, and there weren’t many on show who must’ve given him much joy.

The exception would be Stephen Ireland, making his first start since spring 2015 after a series of horrific injuries. Not that I would normally be one to show sympathy to an ex-city, grandmother-lying waster, but it was nice to see him back, and he was Stoke’s best performer, along with Moritz Bauer, the debut right-back January purchase. Ireland was unlucky not to score after making a few blindside runs into the area. Unfortunately for him, his more talented but work-shy wide men Shaqiri and Choupo-Moting were invisible throughout, making Stoke anaemic up front. Ex-Red Darren Fletcher was sadly off the pace.

After the second goal was scored brilliantly by Martial when sweeping in Pogba’s pass from the edge of the area, Stoke seemed to give up, and the home side were not going to relinquish control. The £89m man was dictating play, dribbling through the midfield, switching play at will, always doing the unexpected, always wanting the ball. The only thing missing was a goal. Matic was also calm and assured, with Jones impressive and resolute at the back, and also having the poise to bring the ball out of defence.

The second half featured United struggling a little up to the hour mark, showing a little lack of intensity. I said aloud that Mata and in particular Lingard should be withdrawn. They both obviously heard me as they combined three times in the space of 5 minutes to try and get a third. First the Spaniard stroked a shot wide after Lingard had carried the ball, then after an enterprising burst from Luke Shaw the man-of-the-moment tapped back to Mata in a similar move to the first goal at Leicester. Only this time Mata blazed it over, and not long after he flicked in Lingard’s volley but he was way offside.

In the end it was Romelu Lukaku who scored the third, chesting down Martial’s pass, which was pinged in at pace, before using his body well against two defenders to create a little opening and smash home clinically. Classic centre-forward play. The big man had been terrific all game, and he seems to be hungry for goals again. He has 17 for the season now in all competitions, and that's no mean record.

Once again my pleas to get Pogba off for rest was ignored, and you can bet a muscle injury will be forthcoming as his all-action, complete display didn’t stop when the score became 3-0. Maybe for Matic as well, who only when he went off against Watford has been spared 90 minutes since joining. Still, it was nice for McTominay to get more minutes, Fellaini to be back, and Rashford almost scored after beating two men easily in his short time on the pitch. The kid is pure quality, even when out of form. United were on auto-pilot for the last 10 minutes as we just saw it out. A lovely 90 minutes, even against relegation fodder.

United (4-2-3-1) De Gea 7; Valencia 8, Smalling 7, Jones 8, Shaw 7; Pogba 9, Matic 7.5; Mata 7.5 (McTominay 83), Lingard 6 (Fellaini 80, 6), Martial 8 (Rashford 80, 6.5); Lukaku 8.