Brighton 1-0 Manchester United Friday 4th May

Brighton 1-0 Manchester United (Gross 57)

An intriguing statistic surfaced after this Friday night game. United had lost to all the promoted teams this season away from home. Brighton, Newcastle (1-0) and Huddersfield (2-1) had beaten us, but we had beaten all the top 5. Jekyll and Hyde United. We’ve also dropped points to Stoke, Southampton and West Brom, proving that although there has been a vast improvement this season, against the actual shite of the division we struggle to break them down and too often end games with feelings of frustration.

It was the first time since 1989-90 that we had lost 3 league matches in a season against newly promoted clubs. This insipid display wasn’t some massive shock though, with United pretty much on auto-pilot and Brighton up for it looking to seal safety in front of their fans. But even though it wasn’t a total coupon-buster, it doesn’t mean it wasn’t fucking dire. For four of our seven defeats to be against teams in the bottom half is unacceptable. Comparisons with City are not enlightening for us, with them only losing two games, against us in 2^nd and Liverpool in 3^rd. We are stumbling over the line to finish runners-up, fortunate that Spurs are having their annual blow-up and Liverpool are concentrating on Europe.

There were a fair few players out on that pitch who had a chance to force their way into the Cup final team and they were clearly not arsed. But even then, we should have enough to put away bloody Brighton, who hadn’t won in 7 games. For all that we moan when Martial and Rashford are left out, nights like these are still pretty common for them, proving Mourinho right. But the manager has to take a lot more responsibility, as way too often under him we see these joyless, disjointed and functional performances. I’m in no way #MourinhoOut, not by a long shot, but to see so many games like this is criminal given the attacking talent we have.  

Lukaku was injured and Sanchez was rested, with Rojo starting with Smalling, after Mourinho had justified Bailly’s absence by saying he needed to make sure the other defenders were match fit for the World Cup. Even for him, that bullshit took some chutzpah to say to the press. Young captained the team with Valencia rested.

The game itself? Brighton were up for it from kick-off, pumping balls into the general direction of the wily old forward Glenn Murray. As the game went on and they realised how poor United were, they abandoned the agricultural approach and went for a more considered style, with the ball-players Pascal Gross and Dutch international Davy Propper – one of my favourite players in the bottom reaches of the league – proving difficult to mark.

Our full-backs were showing no positional awareness (how often do we see overlaps from them?) and our centre-backs were treating the ball like its lit dynamite. United had 68% possession when the whistle blew, but there wasn’t much to write home about. It was mostly boring, slow keep-ball. There was little penetration from our forwards, seldom were balls played in behind. United were very sloppy, especially Fellaini and Rashford, who blew United’s best chance when refusing to cut the ball back to Martial after getting to the right side by-line. Instead he paused, thought about shooting, and only got a corner after dawdling so much he could have set up Mata as well who had made a late run. It neatly summed up an awful half devoid of quality, with a real end of season feel to it despite cup places being on the line. Fellaini was too deep, not forward enough to be useful.

De Gea had to make 3 top saves to keep us level. Murray’s 25 yard shot, Izquierdo’s effort and a Gross drive were all heading towards goal but Spanish Dave proved why he won both player of the year awards in midweek by denying them all. The only positive in the 1^st half was a tremendous drunken Friday night rendition of ‘Viva Ronaldo’ from the travelling Reds desperate for our Portuguese alumnus to step up again and stop the scousers from winning a 6^th European Cup in Kiev in 3 weeks or so. C’mon Ronnie. Save us from that horror, would you?

There is still plenty of deadwood at the club, chief among them Darmian, who was utter wank again. Please let that be his last United game, and it would be fitting if it was. The Italian was beaten horribly easily by Izquierdo for the goal, allowing Gross to head in after the initial cross was parried, the goal being awarded by goal line technology after Rojo’s clearance just wasn’t good enough.

So we were behind. Time for a swashbuckling response… er… about that. In the 71^st minute Rashford had a powerful shot from distance well saved from the Aussie Matt Ryan, but that was about as good as it got. Mourinho introduced Lingard and Luke Shaw, and later took off Rojo for McTominay, but it didn’t really make a difference.

The last sections of the match were embarrassing with the United side just circulating the ball. There was no setting it wide, no pace, just waiting for someone else to take a risk or make an offensive run. We were left with Pogba trying to find the top corner from 30 yards for the final 7 or 8 minutes or so, an admission that we had run out of ideas before we’d even begun brainstorming.

The home side were jubilant and why not, having clinched their survival and seen off the great Manchester United of Darmian. There was a minor pitch invasion at full-time and good luck to them – Chris Hughton, one of the more dignified football men, deserves all the praise he gets.

Mourinho went for Martial and Rashford in his presser. "For 10 months I get asked 'why always Lukaku? Why always Lukaku, why always Lukaku? Why always this player? That guy doesn't have a chance to start, the other one is on the bench.' You know why now." For once, there was little to be said in response. Let’s just hope the massive Belgian is fit and ready for the Cup final, otherwise we are going to have a huge job on our hands.

United (4-3-3) De Gea 8; Darmian 3.5 (Shaw 68, 5.5), Smalling 5, Rojo 5.5 (McTominay 76, 5), Young 5; Fellaini 5 (Lingard 68, 5.5), Matic 6, Pogba 4.5; Mata 4, Rashford 3.5, Martial 4.