Brighton 1-0 Manchester United Friday 4th May

Brighton 1-0 Manchester United (Gross 57)

An intriguing statistic surfaced after this Friday night game. United had lost to all the promoted teams this season away from home. Brighton, Newcastle (1-0) and Huddersfield (2-1) had beaten us, but we had beaten all the top 5. Jekyll and Hyde United. We’ve also dropped points to Stoke, Southampton and West Brom, proving that although there has been a vast improvement this season, against the actual shite of the division we struggle to break them down and too often end games with feelings of frustration.

It was the first time since 1989-90 that we had lost 3 league matches in a season against newly promoted clubs. This insipid display wasn’t some massive shock though, with United pretty much on auto-pilot and Brighton up for it looking to seal safety in front of their fans. But even though it wasn’t a total coupon-buster, it doesn’t mean it wasn’t fucking dire. For four of our seven defeats to be against teams in the bottom half is unacceptable. Comparisons with City are not enlightening for us, with them only losing two games, against us in 2^nd and Liverpool in 3^rd. We are stumbling over the line to finish runners-up, fortunate that Spurs are having their annual blow-up and Liverpool are concentrating on Europe.

There were a fair few players out on that pitch who had a chance to force their way into the Cup final team and they were clearly not arsed. But even then, we should have enough to put away bloody Brighton, who hadn’t won in 7 games. For all that we moan when Martial and Rashford are left out, nights like these are still pretty common for them, proving Mourinho right. But the manager has to take a lot more responsibility, as way too often under him we see these joyless, disjointed and functional performances. I’m in no way #MourinhoOut, not by a long shot, but to see so many games like this is criminal given the attacking talent we have.  

Lukaku was injured and Sanchez was rested, with Rojo starting with Smalling, after Mourinho had justified Bailly’s absence by saying he needed to make sure the other defenders were match fit for the World Cup. Even for him, that bullshit took some chutzpah to say to the press. Young captained the team with Valencia rested.

The game itself? Brighton were up for it from kick-off, pumping balls into the general direction of the wily old forward Glenn Murray. As the game went on and they realised how poor United were, they abandoned the agricultural approach and went for a more considered style, with the ball-players Pascal Gross and Dutch international Davy Propper – one of my favourite players in the bottom reaches of the league – proving difficult to mark.

Our full-backs were showing no positional awareness (how often do we see overlaps from them?) and our centre-backs were treating the ball like its lit dynamite. United had 68% possession when the whistle blew, but there wasn’t much to write home about. It was mostly boring, slow keep-ball. There was little penetration from our forwards, seldom were balls played in behind. United were very sloppy, especially Fellaini and Rashford, who blew United’s best chance when refusing to cut the ball back to Martial after getting to the right side by-line. Instead he paused, thought about shooting, and only got a corner after dawdling so much he could have set up Mata as well who had made a late run. It neatly summed up an awful half devoid of quality, with a real end of season feel to it despite cup places being on the line. Fellaini was too deep, not forward enough to be useful.

De Gea had to make 3 top saves to keep us level. Murray’s 25 yard shot, Izquierdo’s effort and a Gross drive were all heading towards goal but Spanish Dave proved why he won both player of the year awards in midweek by denying them all. The only positive in the 1^st half was a tremendous drunken Friday night rendition of ‘Viva Ronaldo’ from the travelling Reds desperate for our Portuguese alumnus to step up again and stop the scousers from winning a 6^th European Cup in Kiev in 3 weeks or so. C’mon Ronnie. Save us from that horror, would you?

There is still plenty of deadwood at the club, chief among them Darmian, who was utter wank again. Please let that be his last United game, and it would be fitting if it was. The Italian was beaten horribly easily by Izquierdo for the goal, allowing Gross to head in after the initial cross was parried, the goal being awarded by goal line technology after Rojo’s clearance just wasn’t good enough.

So we were behind. Time for a swashbuckling response… er… about that. In the 71^st minute Rashford had a powerful shot from distance well saved from the Aussie Matt Ryan, but that was about as good as it got. Mourinho introduced Lingard and Luke Shaw, and later took off Rojo for McTominay, but it didn’t really make a difference.

The last sections of the match were embarrassing with the United side just circulating the ball. There was no setting it wide, no pace, just waiting for someone else to take a risk or make an offensive run. We were left with Pogba trying to find the top corner from 30 yards for the final 7 or 8 minutes or so, an admission that we had run out of ideas before we’d even begun brainstorming.

The home side were jubilant and why not, having clinched their survival and seen off the great Manchester United of Darmian. There was a minor pitch invasion at full-time and good luck to them – Chris Hughton, one of the more dignified football men, deserves all the praise he gets.

Mourinho went for Martial and Rashford in his presser. "For 10 months I get asked 'why always Lukaku? Why always Lukaku, why always Lukaku? Why always this player? That guy doesn't have a chance to start, the other one is on the bench.' You know why now." For once, there was little to be said in response. Let’s just hope the massive Belgian is fit and ready for the Cup final, otherwise we are going to have a huge job on our hands.

United (4-3-3) De Gea 8; Darmian 3.5 (Shaw 68, 5.5), Smalling 5, Rojo 5.5 (McTominay 76, 5), Young 5; Fellaini 5 (Lingard 68, 5.5), Matic 6, Pogba 4.5; Mata 4, Rashford 3.5, Martial 4.

Bournemouth 0-2 Manchester United 18th April

Bournemouth 0-2 Manchester United (Smalling 28, Lukaku 70)

United warmed up for the Cup semi vs Spurs by dispatching a spirited Bournemouth XI, bouncing back from the defeat by West Brom well with a professional display. 

Mourinho made seven changes from that shocking game, partly as a reaction to the performance, partly to rest certain individuals for Spurs. So United started a league match without Lukaku and Matic for the first time in 17/18, with Valencia rested completely as well. Only De Gea, Herrera, Pogba and Smalling retained their spot but the real story was the selection of Luke Shaw and, amazingly, the player I dislike most in the current squad, Matteo Darmian. The Italian had almost disappeared from view but here he was, starting in the league for us for the first time since *checks soccerbase* the 0-0 draw at Liverpool on the 14^th October. This game was on 18^th April, for god’s sake. I’m never happy when he plays but he did ok considering he was brought in from the cold at short notice.

Shaw again looked a little too rotund for my liking… at this stage, you can only laugh really. But to be fair to the man fond of a Big Mac, he played well in the much changed defence, although he wasn’t the star of it. That was the recalled Phil Jones, who was showing plenty of effort and passion, dominating the area and winning the ball back numerous times.

The first goal was lovely. Herrera played a through ball down the right between the channels for Lingard to run onto, as opposed to most of the game when everything had been to feet, forcing the receiver to trap and control it. But this time, Lingard was able to instantly cross, and with all the Bournemouth defenders facing their own goal and not wanting to commit to a potential own-goal, Smalling, - the new Van Nistelrooy over the last month - was there to stab home. 3 goals in 3 away games for our new striker Smalling.

That opened up space and for the rest of the match the home defenders were constantly being turned by United’s pacey forwards, but the finish eluded them despite plenty of good approach play. Martial and Rashford buzzed around nicely but we were missing a real penalty box player to get on the end of the balls in. Unlike a lot of games this season, United weren’t particularly static, but we didn’t look like getting another goal.

That was until Lukaku came on and instantly gave United a convincing threat up top. It was he who finished off Bournemouth with the second goal. He ran into green space, and the ball was played into his path on his left side by Pogba enabling him to tuck it away without breaking stride. It was another simple goal, but so pleasing to witness for a team that sometimes like to overcomplicate things. Runs in behind, accurate passes = goals.

Matic came on for Herrera, and Pogba pushed up, exclusively playing in their half, and dribbling with the ball at his feet all the time. Our main man was feeding Martial, Lukaku and Rashford as well as looking for sights of goal himself. Just when he was really getting into his groove Mourinho subbed him, with a slight wry smile on his face I’m sure. Let the press write their crap – with the Cup semi on the weekend, the more minutes Pogba rests for the better.

Pogba’s replacement was Daley Blind, who like Darmian has spent most of the season on the bench or in the stands despite being available. (Although Blind was injured for 6 weeks during February and March). The Dutchman took the field for the first time since the 3^rd round Fa Cup win over Derby on the 5^th of Jan, and only 2 minutes after coming on shanked horribly at the ball when given the chance to shoot. It rather summed up a season where his previously quite decent United career has tailed off horribly. He started the first 3 fixtures but Young took the left-back spot and has never really been in danger since. Blind played all the European group matches but like Darmian appears to have been punished for the Bristol City loss. Although I hold him no malice (unlike that Italian prick) his time at United is surely up in the summer with the team barely noticing his absence all season. I mean, this was only his 6^th league appearance of the campaign.

The back 4 – even Darmian despite everything - defended well as part of the unit to allow United to see the game out pretty easily in the end, the expected onslaught from the home team never really arriving due to United’s experience and their own lack of quality creative players. Not that the crowd left at full-time annoyed by the action – far from it, as it was a raucous atmosphere from the very first minute to the last, the fans fully appreciative of their players despite the loss. Why not, when Eddie Howe has masterminded yet another season dining at the top tier for the small south coast club. So a decent win, but it’s Spurs, Wembley, and the Cup that takes our attention now.

United (4-3-3) De Gea 6.5; Darmian 6.5, Smalling 7, Jones 8, Shaw 6.5; Herrera 7 (Matic 72, 6), Fellaini 6, Pogba 7.5 (Blind 80, 5); Lingard 6.5 (Lukaku 62, 7.5), Rashford 6.5, Martial 6;