Burnley 0-1 Manchester United

Burnley 0-1 Manchester United (Martial 54)

 

A rather sleepy Saturday afternoon in Lancashire was ignited by Anthony Martial’s superb winning goal in the second half, to clinch another win to nil for Jose Mourinho’s men. It was a tough encounter, with defences on top, but once again United had our French flier to thank for keeping us on track.

This was not vintage United, but then it hardly ever is against the Burnley of Sean Dyche. We’ve never blown them away, either in 14-15 or since they got promoted the second time. Due to a neat quirk in the fixture list, the memories of Boxing Day, and being 2-0 down in no time at all, were fresh in the memories of the Reds. Or should that be the light greys, as United lined up in our god awful, make-your-eyes-bleed 2^nd kit again. Is this really what Adidas pay all those millions for? Oh fuck, I’m moaning about kits, I’m even sadder than I knew I was.

United rather laboured to the win, but that didn’t mean there weren’t impressive elements – like a 5^th consecutive clean sheet for us, since we last played Burnley. An amazing coincidence, but not as amazing as the commanding defending of Phil Jones. He has been pretty low down on the list of players receiving acclaim this campaign, yet there is no more consistent centre-back in the country. When he’s fit, of course. Mourinho has improved him, or rather restored him back to his late 2013 peak. It was difficult out there, with him being booed by the Turf Moor faithful throughout due to his Blackburn Rovers connections, but he came through it, and with his partner Smalling got us over the line amid a barrage of late balls into the box.

Mind, Burnley were never out of the game, and Icelandic international Gudmundsson hit the bar with a free-kick, plus the terrific James Tarkowski was mere inches away from getting contact on a low cross from the right late on. As an aside, Dyche must perform a big gravelly frightening laugh every time he see his former charge Michael Keane struggle for Everton knowing he had Tarkowski to come in and replace him and form a solid partnership with Ben Mee. Considering he lost Andre Gray to Watford as well, you have to tip your hat to resourcefulness of Dyche. Back to the game though, for all this pressure, United were comfortable, despite being pinned back. It was encouraging, and once again the cliché needs saying – last year, we would’ve drawn that game. It would’ve been our own fault though, as Pogba, Martial and sub Rashford all wasted chances to kill the contest in the second half.

This season has been harshly judged, thanks to Guardiola’s barely believable mob up the road breaking records with their potential points tally. But we’re alright, y’know. The big summer buy Lukaku has not been anywhere near as bad as has been suggested, and he proved his class again by providing the goal, demonstrating superb awareness and decision making to advance with the ball before stopping and finding Martial with a perfect ball. The number 11’s coolness in front of goal did the rest, placing the ball in the top corner with aplomb. That made it 3 league goals in as many games for Martial. The forward is improving all the time and his recent form, as well as his undeniable talent, will surely keep him in the team even if the dog-obsessive from the Emirates joins to add a certain individualism to the attack. By now, even as harsh a critic as Mourinho can no longer be evasive about the ability of our fleet-footed Frenchman. “Of course we are happy with him. We just want consistency, we know he has the talent”.

It is hard to dislike Dyche. Even when he makes a pithy remark about the different financial worlds the two teams were operating in (“The defining moment is an absolutely fantastic finish from a player they brought in for a lot of money” was how he described Martial’s winner to the BBC) I find him admirable. Yes, he may play the victim at times when it comes to referees, and he does revel much like Big Sam in the whole I-would-be-getting-a-lot-more-praise-if-i-was-foreign-and-exoctic bollocks. But at the same time, his team and his tactical awareness constantly leave me impressed. The world is good if you are a Burnley fan right now – at least until someone further up the food chain poaches their gaffer.

The only tiny little concern of note was that after his 3 match ban, Young was selected ahead of the in-form Luke Shaw at left-back in our only change from the win over Stoke. This decision was pretty straightforward in hindsight as the experienced utility man was fresh while his teammates had been exerted by the Christmas period, and after so many matches on the trot it seemed sensible to give Shaw a breather – after all, he hasn’t played many consecutive games since his leg break. However, given that Burnley away is no walk in the park, you would expect the strongest team, and if Young is still ahead of Shaw in the pecking order when everything is equal, it would worry me slightly. Although perhaps to prove that I should shut my clumsy mouth, Youngy was one of our best players, especially in transition to set up counters late on.

Arsene Wenger implied that Alexis Sanchez missed the 4-1 cakewalk at home to Palace because he was already on his way up north, and whatever the real truth, it does seem likely that by the time United visit League Two Yeovil, the Chilean will be a Man United player. Certainly, Emirates-bound Mkhitaryan was never in consideration for the starting XI here. This transfer saga has barely lasted a fortnight yet I’m already tired of it, and the press crap that comes with it, and the idea that Alexis must be a money grabbing mercenary to turn down Oil-rich Man City in favour of the biggest football club in the world. City trying to take the moral high ground over money (Sanchez would upset their wage structure, apparently) has been a twist in this soap opera I definitely didn’t see coming. It does look done at the time of writing however, quite incredible given the English press had decided he would be at the Etihad by now. So, United bringing in a world-class player in January you say? Aye mate, and a reality TV star will be President and all, you daft prick.

United (4-2-3-1) De Gea 7.5; Valencia 7, Smalling 7.5, Jones 8.5, Young 7.5; Pogba 6.5, Matic 7; Mata 5.5 (Fellaini 72, 6), Lingard 5.5 (Rashford 80, 5), Martial 8 (Herrera 90+4); Lukaku 7.5.

Manchester United 3-0 Stoke

Manchester United 3-0 Stoke (Valencia 9, Martial 38, Lukaku 72)

It had been 10 days since Manchester United had last kicked a ball in anger against Derby in the cup, a rare long-ish break in the middle of the season which Jose Mourinho had taken to full advantage, spending much of the time in Dubai. The Portuguese gaffer gushed about the warm weather and the facilities, and a previously jaded United arrived for the Monday evening game refreshed. Off field matters had taken up the journalist’s attention during the lull, such as Mourinho’s war of words with Conte, (‘I don’t act like a clown’ “He has senile dementia” ‘I will never be banned for match-fixing’ “He is a little man”) and United’s seemingly on a whim pursuit of Alexis Sanchez.

The wantaway Arsenal flier was the talk of the terraces, and a compilation of his goals was even shown on MUTV. But the game kicked off with no deal looking imminent, although the Red Devils were in the driving seat. City had balked at the wage demands of the Chilean, and we had muscled in. The day before, after Arsenal’s loss at Bournemouth, Wenger had said Sanchez’s future would be resolved within 48 hours, but the Arsenal chief does say a lot of shite these days. Mkhitaryan was left out of the squad, after Jose had said he would be involved, amid speculation the Armenian would be going the other way to Sanchez. He has almost certainly played his last game for Manchester United.

While no one is sure about who exactly will be at Carrington in February, what you can bet your life on is Paul Pogba being United’s best player for the foreseeable future. The number 6 was sensational.

There are people who don’t rate Pogba, or at the very least believe he’s overhyped. This is baffling, as Pogba’s strengths are so obvious, even on his bad days. You don’t have to study him, like you do Busquets, to truly appreciate his impact on matches. No one who has watched him for more than a handful of games can have any doubt about his talent, so it must be bitterness, jealously, or good old fashioned ABU syndrome, that explains why he is not feted like De Bruyne.  

Speaking of the two-footed ginger, Pogba equalled his assists record for the season against Stoke, putting them both on 9. The Frenchman has played 10 less games though, due to his injuries and suspensions. After this win,  and City's first loss of the season on Sunday against Liverpool, the gap between the Manchester clubs was 12 points; it’s tempting to wonder what it would be if United’s talisman had been available in all the league games this season. He really was an absolute steal at £89m, it was quite laughable how easy he found it to run this game. A complete footballer.

It was the returning Antonio Valencia who put United in front, a real collector’s item too: A goal from his left peg! He collected Pogba’s ball before shifting it and curling it home for his 3^rd league strike of the campaign. We’ve missed him in his absence. Perhaps it was the potential arrival of the dog-shagging weirdo that is Sanchez that led to such a high-tempo start, with the attacking players keen to show Jose what they were about. United, full of confidence after the early goal, started to dominate possession and push Stoke back.

It’s the first time I’ve mentioned the away side, despite them being full of intrigue as well. After four and a half years of Mark Hughes, Stoke had fired him and appointed Paul Lambert, amazingly after an underwhelming spell with Wolves. It’s great being a British manager isn’t it? So many failures, so many opportunities. Mind, the dour Scot (is there any other kind?) did a superb job with Norwich which shouldn't be forgotten, no matter how eye-scratchingly bad his Villa team were to watch. either way, the new boss was at Old Trafford watching his new charges for the first time, and there weren’t many on show who must’ve given him much joy.

The exception would be Stephen Ireland, making his first start since spring 2015 after a series of horrific injuries. Not that I would normally be one to show sympathy to an ex-city, grandmother-lying waster, but it was nice to see him back, and he was Stoke’s best performer, along with Moritz Bauer, the debut right-back January purchase. Ireland was unlucky not to score after making a few blindside runs into the area. Unfortunately for him, his more talented but work-shy wide men Shaqiri and Choupo-Moting were invisible throughout, making Stoke anaemic up front. Ex-Red Darren Fletcher was sadly off the pace.

After the second goal was scored brilliantly by Martial when sweeping in Pogba’s pass from the edge of the area, Stoke seemed to give up, and the home side were not going to relinquish control. The £89m man was dictating play, dribbling through the midfield, switching play at will, always doing the unexpected, always wanting the ball. The only thing missing was a goal. Matic was also calm and assured, with Jones impressive and resolute at the back, and also having the poise to bring the ball out of defence.

The second half featured United struggling a little up to the hour mark, showing a little lack of intensity. I said aloud that Mata and in particular Lingard should be withdrawn. They both obviously heard me as they combined three times in the space of 5 minutes to try and get a third. First the Spaniard stroked a shot wide after Lingard had carried the ball, then after an enterprising burst from Luke Shaw the man-of-the-moment tapped back to Mata in a similar move to the first goal at Leicester. Only this time Mata blazed it over, and not long after he flicked in Lingard’s volley but he was way offside.

In the end it was Romelu Lukaku who scored the third, chesting down Martial’s pass, which was pinged in at pace, before using his body well against two defenders to create a little opening and smash home clinically. Classic centre-forward play. The big man had been terrific all game, and he seems to be hungry for goals again. He has 17 for the season now in all competitions, and that's no mean record.

Once again my pleas to get Pogba off for rest was ignored, and you can bet a muscle injury will be forthcoming as his all-action, complete display didn’t stop when the score became 3-0. Maybe for Matic as well, who only when he went off against Watford has been spared 90 minutes since joining. Still, it was nice for McTominay to get more minutes, Fellaini to be back, and Rashford almost scored after beating two men easily in his short time on the pitch. The kid is pure quality, even when out of form. United were on auto-pilot for the last 10 minutes as we just saw it out. A lovely 90 minutes, even against relegation fodder.

United (4-2-3-1) De Gea 7; Valencia 8, Smalling 7, Jones 8, Shaw 7; Pogba 9, Matic 7.5; Mata 7.5 (McTominay 83), Lingard 6 (Fellaini 80, 6), Martial 8 (Rashford 80, 6.5); Lukaku 8.

Manchester United 2-0 Derby County Fa Cup 3rd Round

Manchester United 2-0 Derby (Lingard 84, Lukaku 90)

United were almost held to a replay by a determined effort from the Championship team and their keeper Scott Carson, but in the end, Jesse Lingard ensured the progression of the 12 times winners after yet another worldie. Lingard's brilliant 25-yard late opener was swiftly followed by a Lukaku goal after great work from Martial, making the final score look pretty comfortable, yet for much of this Friday evening the Old Trafford crowd were anxious that the win would not be forthcoming.

I didn't actually watch this game.* Neither did anyone else who wasn't at the ground (at least, not legally) as the BBC had put the Merseyside derby on instead, although United's kick-off time still had to move due to city being drawn at home as well. So the longstanding run of televised cup ties was at an end, but the idea that United didn't give a crap about the cup was quashed straight away when Mourinho picked a very strong XI, with only 5 changes from the Everton win. The keepers were rotated, Smalling and Blind came in at the back, and Marcus Rashford and Mkhitaryan replaced Martial and the rested Matic. A very healthy crowd of over 73,000, helped by almost 10,000 from the East Midlands, was further evidence that the club cared deeply about this competition. Just don't mention 1999/2000.

The game itself was essentially just an attack vs defence training exercise. Gary Rowett's team had very little ambition - although this isn't a criticism, just an observation on the realities of the match. Although the Rams are pushing for promotion (again), the sense that they would be content with a replay and money in the bank was palpable. They only ever attacked on the break, with ex-red Tom Lawrence showing his ball carrying ability. Nonetheless, it was a quiet evening for Sergio Romero, as it was Derby's organisation and structure that was worthy of praise rather than any offensive flair.

Rashford, out of form and going through his first real tough time, looked sharp and keen from the off. His pace was too much for the opponents and he was constantly asking questions of the defence. Trouble was, he never looked like making the net bulge. Instead he blazed over and wide, or found himself stopped by Carson, a bad touch, or the woodwork (twice). The focus of the anger on Twitter afterwards for his misses and perceived selfishness, Marcus would do well to ask himself the question of how many 19 or 20 year olds earn the trust of Mourinho. The kid is special, and never hid or let the misses effect him. He's played non stop since his debut for club and country, and my theory is he's tired. The lad just needs to be taken out of the firing line for a bit, and tune out from all the reactionary shit.

Having said all that, his miss in the first half from a Mkhitaryan cross (the only thing the out of sorts Armenian did before being hooked at the break, an act Mourinho apologised for in his presser, but one that hardly reflected well on the midfielder given he said Rashford was never going to score in the same conference) was a cast-iron sitter; he just had to nod it in from 5 yards, but managed to hit the post. He was hardly alone in his profligacy though, with Mata amongst the others also unable to find the onion bag. Both the Spaniard and Pogba went close with free-kicks, but Scott Carson was in inspired form.

More than a decade has passed since his error against Niko Kranjcar and Croatia, but you get the sense that he never truly recovered. Haunted by the spectre of that national humiliation that really that fake Dutch twat Steve Mclaren should take the blame for, his career has drifted after West Brom, but there was a flash of the old Carson here, showing off the athleticism and reflexes that interested Liverpool when he was barely out of his teens.

Tony Marshall's loving Jesse's form as much as the rest of us

As the game wore on, Derby grew in confidence, venturing out of defence more often. Mourinho had brought on Lukaku and Martial to try and force an opening, but it just made the Stretford End feel nauseous at the thought of a late sucker punch. Those fears seemed to be alleviated when Herrera and Lingard helped to play in Rashford, but the young tyro shot against the post with Carson finally beaten.

When Pogba dragged an effort wide after Lingard was denied by the keeper, it had the feeling of 'one of those nights', but United kept on trying, and Lukaku tapped back Martial's forward pass to Lingard, who rifled it in the top corner before any Derby defenders could blink. Terrific. That made it 8 goals in his last 10 appearances now for the Warrington Wizard, and the crowd (well, most of them) breathed a sigh of relief. Lukaku finished off a one-two with Martial, and the Reds celebrated hard as the win, and no replay, meant they were off to Dubai for a bit of warm-weather training. Well, that's the belated silver lining to the Bristol City loss then.

The attention afterwards, with a hat tip in the direction of Derby and Rowett of course, was very much focused on our number 14 who's in the form of his life. Mourinho waxed lyrical about Lionel Jesse post match. "He's in a moment of confidence where things go well for him. He's a good professional and a fantastic kid in the dressing room". It isn't just the goals - although they are important and of an outstandingly high quality - but the confidence he is showing, feeling like he deserves the stage of United now. At 25, Lingard can no longer be regarded as a promising youngster. It's time to deliver, and boy, currently he is rivalling the postmen in that department.

United (4-2-3-1) Romero 6.5; Lindelof 6, Smalling 6, Blind 6.5, Shaw 6.5; Herrera 6, Pogba 6.5; Mata 7 (Martial 67, 7.5) Lingard 8.5, Mkhitaryan 5 (Lukaku 46, 7.5); Rashford 6 (Fellaini 80).

*I was at the theatre, watching 'The play that goes wrong'. Would recommend it. Almost as funny as Liverpool's league drought reaching 28 years this year, in my opinion.

Everton V Manchester United New Year's Day

Everton 0-2 Man Utd (Martial 57, Lingard 81)

Just 48 hours after Southampton, United were in action yet again. I spent these 90 minutes drifting in and out of sleep after a heavy New Year’s Eve that had denied me slumber and left me in a zombie like state. Isn’t the Christmas period great?

Yes, yes it is, although not for the 2017-18 Old Trafford vintage. 3 consecutive draws and 6 points dropped meant there was all sorts of pressure on the Everton match. But the players delivered, with two wonderful goals sealing the points to open up 2018 in style.

Having not actually seen a large chunk of the last two matches, it is difficult to form a critical analysis. I’ll settle for the freeing up of Paul Pogba as the main reason this game was won. The side he captained lined up in a 4-3-3 for the first time in ages, with Pogba occupying the left hand channel that was so successful at for Juventus. Maybe after the triple draws, Mourinho had decided to get more out of his most talented player, or perhaps it was just the formation which fitted the Christmas period rotation, with Herrera coming in for his first start in the league since West Brom. Lindelof played at right back again, deputising for Young, starting a 3 game ban for his sneaky little elbow on Tadic. Hardly worth a multiple match ban usually reserved for violent conduct, mind. Rojo came in for him, Lukaku missed out with concussion for Martial, and Mkhitaryan was dropped.

Having two men holding the fort in midfield made the difference for Pogba. He showed off his full array of skills – the driving forward from deep, the coming in to open up the pitch from the left wing, the neat footwork and stepovers when 1 v 1 with defenders, the full range of his passing. In particular, it was the disguise on some of his passes that helped create chances.

The first half was tough and passed by with little incident. Big Sam’s newly resilient Everton side were flying into tackles and playing very deep. But as the game wore on, a tiring team began to leave gaps, where Pogba seized the initiative. United were a different side after the break, presumably after a bollocking from Mourinho. Maybe the players just needed time for their New Year’s hangovers to wear off.

Talking of hangovers, we’re used to a certain Mr Rooney dropping his levels over the festive fixtures, and he wasn’t very effective against his old club, apart from helping us break the deadlock when he gave it away to set up the first goal. United countered, and Pogba deftly poked a no look pass into the path of Martial, who opened up his body Thierry Henry style to place it into the top corner.

It had been coming, with Mata hitting the bar with a 25 yard drive, and Pickford saving from a similar shot as well- Mata had momentarily become Ronaldo, see. Pogba and Jesse Lingard also forced saves from the young England keeper, as we began to really turn the screw.

Rooney had received a warm reception from the travelling support, consisting of applause when he came to take corners, chanting of his name, cheers when his name was announced on the PA, and frequent renditions of ‘I saw my mate’. The articles afterwards focused on the ironic YSB’s, as is their wont, to paint United fans as ‘classless’ in their treatment of our record goalscorer. Hated, adored, never ignored and all that.

Lingard is another used to da h8ers, sometimes from his home crowd, or at least, the internet United fans from other continents. Not from me though – nothing makes me happier than local United fans coming through from the academy to live their dream, and no one is loving his devastating form more than me. He continued his purple patch with another thunderbastard, accelerating away from his old mate Michael Keane to launch it top bins and seal the points. What a fucking player. 7 League goals for the season, 10 in all competitions. Fergie always said he would be a late developer.

So, all good vibes on New Year’s Day. Luke Shaw had completed 3 games in 7 days, Pogba was at his dominating best, two lovely goals, and back to winning ways. Happy New Year.

United (4-3-3) De Gea 6.5; Lindelof 6, Jones 7, Rojo 6.5, Shaw 7; Herrera 6, Matic 6, Pogba 8.5; Mata 7.5 (Tuanzebe 90+2), Martial 7 (Rashford 77, 6), Lingard 8 (Blind 87).

sssshhhhh

Leicester 2-2 Manchester United

Leicester 2-2 Man Utd (Vardy 27, Maguire 90+4) (Mata 40, 60)

United weren’t at their absolute best, and Leicester are a decent team under Claude Puel, yet when the final whistle went the United fans were crushed with disappointment and anger. Well, of course, a last minute equaliser is always gut-wrenching. But this was different, given that United had come from behind, had been playing since the 73^rd minute against 10 men, and spurned at least 4, maybe 5 cast-iron sitters. Childish and immature, as our manager called it afterwards.

8 changes were made from the loss at Bristol City, with only Pogba, Martial and Lindelof keeping their places. Mourinho selected the Swede at full-back over Darmian, who wasn’t even named in the squad in the absence of Valencia.

United started pretty well in the final game before Christmas, with Pogba on his league return from suspension looking sharp, and Martial seemed dangerous despite some rough tackling from Leicester. However, it was Jamie Vardy who opened the scoring with an astonishingly simple goal, borne out of careless (to put it kindly) defending. Ndidi hoofed it 60 yards, Mahrez chased it down before holding it to play in Vardy for a simple finish. Why Smalling didn’t put a foot in on Mahrez, and why Jones ran out to press thin air to leave us exposed are questions that will forever remained unanswered.

To their credit, the players stepped it up a gear and went on the attack, to be rewarded when Juan Mata put us level late in the half with a precise effort from Lingard’s lay off after Martial had found him in the area. It was only the Spaniard’s second goal of the season.

The second half was exhilarating as the Red Devils completely outplayed Leicester, cutting them open on the break frequently, and they were rewarded with a comprehensive 4-1 away triumph but due to demented finishing and decision making, 2 points were dropped.

It was criminal, really. All those chances, and playing against 10 for the closing stages, with Amartey getting two clear bookings only 16 minutes after coming on. The game should have been over, but United took wasteful to a new level and reminded the faithful of the umpteen home games like this last season. It all started with Martial blazing way over from 12 yards out after a top ball in from Lukaku. The Belgian threw his hands up in frustration, but soon he was celebrating.

Mata had definitely come to the party, putting our noses in front with a curling free-kick from the right of the D past Kasper Schmeichel, his first brace since… March 2015! Yep, the famous Juanfield game. His general underperformance for a £37m player notwithstanding, the quality set-piece had surely made the game simple enough for his teammates.

The still makes it look worse... but it's still a terrible miss

Instead United contrived to fuck up glorious chances. Lukaku was great all game at receiving on the turn and letting others run into the vacated space; one such move ended with Lingard facing an open net after taking the ball past the keeper. But, on the run, he incredibly hit the post, before duly hitting the rebound over as well. It was harder to miss.

After Amartey was sent off, Mourinho confusingly brought on Herrera for Lingard, perhaps as a reaction to Lingard’s dreadful miss. But why bring on a more defensive player when they’re at their most vulnerable, and why Herrera, who isn’t in good form anyway? Still, for all the posturing afterwards about this particular sub, it didn’t have much of an impact. It wasn’t Jose’s fault, this one; United still created more gilt-edged opportunities to put the game to bed with a story and a mug of hot chocolate.



Rashford, just before inexplicably trying to take it round the keeper

Rashford had already contributed to the red card, and he was played through again with only Schmeichel to beat. Instead of shooting, he tried to round the Dane, and ended up losing the ball. It was pathetic from the kid. From that position you have to open your body up and put it in the far corner, not try and act clever.

Still, Leicester weren’t looking that threatening. The MOTM Mata came off for Mkhitaryan, so at least his weird isolation appears to be at an end. Mind, the manager was going spare at yet another chance going begging as the Armenian tried to pass back to Lukaku rather than shoot from point-blank range. At this point, I was bricking it. Surely we would be punished for such muddled thinking in front of goal?

Smalling was involved in a heavy tackle, and it looked like we would have to see it out with 10, but then Rashford was sent clear again and United had almost a 3-on-1. It was the 92^nd minute, so he could’ve even chosen to run the ball into the corner and waste time. But instead he stopped, delayed, passed inside, and lost possession. It was fucking amateur hour, brain-dead from such a good player, one more chance to finish the game wasted. Why did he stop running? What the hell was going through his mind?


Look at the pitch. Then the clock. He stopped and passed inside. Despair.

Leicester pushed Wes Morgan and Harry Maguire up front and went route one for the dying seconds. Amid confusion with our shape, with United taking the ridiculous decision to send Smalling back on at centre-back, Albrighton sent in a deep cross and Maguire volleyed in at the back post, leading to rapturous scenes all over the King Power. It was the last kick of the game.

The post-mortem wasn’t pretty as it was suggested Herrera had ignored Jones’s instruction to fill in at right-back so Lindelof could move into the centre. But that was splitting hairs, tt was at the other end where the fault lied. Romelu Lukaku had been robbed of 3 assists, from Martial, Lingard, and Mkhitaryan. Those three but in particular Rashford should hang their heads in shame at throwing away two points. Lukaku was creating 1 on 1’s at will, they all fluffed their lines, and we were rightly punished by a Leicester team that, to be fair, deserve considerable praise for never giving up despite going down to 10 men. Even though the dirty bastards didn’t deserve anything from the game, obviously. I’m not bitter, what gave you that idea?

The only crumb of comfort from this is with City’s lead being 13 points, the title race is over in the self-styled most competitive league in the world before Christmas. I’m sure Sky’s shareholders are delighted at their flagship product being all but wrapped up before the Champions League even starts again. Fuck them, and fuck their pathetic hype for games that meander into nothingness. It’s the little things, I suppose. Merry Christmas.

United (4-2-3-1) De Gea 7; Lindelof 6, Smalling 5.5, Jones 6.5, Young 7; Pogba 7, Matic 6; Mata 8.5 (Mkhitaryan 83, 5), Lingard 5.5 (Herrera 76, 5), Martial 6 (Rashford 71, 4); Lukaku 8.