CSKA 1-4 Man Utd 27th Sept

CSKA Moscow 1-4 Manchester United (Kuchaev 90) (Lukaku 4, 26, Martial 18 pen, Mkhitaryan 57)

Before the game, Jose Mourinho had called this CSKA Moscow side the best he had faced. This was, at best, extremely generous given he had played the Russian side in a Champions League quarter final with Inter. Although you can never turn your nose up at a long trip to Moscow, with the effects of the long flight and close-to-freezing temperatures, it must be said those in the know were arguing that this was, on paper, the weakest CSKA team for a good few years. Certainly they were inferior to the side who drew 1-1 with us two seasons ago. But even then, it was a surprise how straightforward this victory was.

This side is so free scoring at the moment it’s almost slightly uncomfortable. Russia away is not meant to be so inviting, and it looks stupid now to think that pre-match I was a tad pessimistic after seeing the lineup. The gaffer had left Valencia at home and said before kick-off that Jones and Fellaini were nursing knocks, but even considering these absences, I was gob smacked that Jose had chosen to go with a back 5 considering how poor we were using that system in his debut season. I didn’t really see a justification for it, surely it would be too defensive an outlook against a pretty uninspiring CSKA outfit?

Well, I was shut up as we were in front almost instantaneously through our new main man, Romelu Lukaku.

It was an incisive break. Herrera cut out a pass, and Matic gave it to Lukaku. He turned and brilliantly set Martial away with a right-footed through ball. The Frenchman faced up to the defender before shifting right to create half a yard, and stood up a delicious ball that our no.9 powered low past Football Manager legend Igor Akinfeev. An early goal, from Lukaku, from a top cross. A trademark, one might say, of early 2017-18 United. Soon after something else happened that is common for us, which is a glorious save from David De Gea to stop a goal. The man from Madrid showing terrific reflexes to stop a close range drive.

It was 2-0 soon later after a decent move down the right was ended by Mkhitaryan being upended in the penalty area. Was it a foul? It wasn’t the most clear-cut, shall we say. It was left to the ice-cool Martial to stroke home from the spot. What a penalty taker he is, by the way.

24 hours before, Liverpool had laboured to a 1-1 draw against Spartak, but Mourinho was showing Klopp how you’re meant to play in Russia. We were in total command and a third goal was no shock, although Vasili Berezutski won’t want to see his missed clearance from a pretty average Martial cross again, leaving Lukaku with a tap in for his 10^th goal for United. He’s finding this Champions League lark pretty simple, isn’t he? Akinfeev could only look on in disgust but I felt bad for him, as he hadn’t done much wrong yet had had to pick the ball out of the back of his net three times. The level of the CSKA defending was pathetically bad, with the famous Russian duo of Sergei Ignashevich and Berezutski and their combined age of 73 both looking like they were running with a backpack full of rocks.

It felt fairly ridiculous at half time that it was all going so swimmingly. A weird formation, a long trip away to Moscow, a few changes, and the rank, slightly discoloured white/grey kit – it’s not meant to be this easy. Even Lindelof was good. It was an absolute annihilation job from us, really stamping our mark on Europe after years of making even the gentlest away tie (such as Midgetland) look challenging. After all, we’d only won one of our previous 10 away games in the Champions League.

United hit their fourth not too long into the second half. CSKA gave the ball away poorly (again), Herrera played in Martial, whose shot was saved, but Mkhitaryan showed speed and desire (your defence is terrified) to get to the rebound first. It was a rout. Martial was the main architect of our moves, and the sky is really the limit for a talent like him. What a player.

The home side did get a consolation with Golovin scooping a pass over the back four and the 19-year-old Kuchaev chesting it down and hitting it between De Gea’s legs. I wasn’t too bothered, but it was quite heartening to see how annoyed Smalling and Blind were at losing their clean sheet. Such a mentality will stand the backline in good stead over the campaign.

Overall, a fantastic result bearing in mind how bad we’ve been away in European games since Fergie retired, regardless of how bad the opposition were. We’re in control of our group as we move onto pointless Palace.

United (3-4-2-1) De Gea 8; Lindelof 7, Bailly 6, Smalling 7; Young 6.5 (Darmian 67, 6), Herrera 7.5, Matic 7, Blind 7.5; Mkhitaryan 6.5 (Lingard 60, 6), Martial 8.5 (Rashford 72, 6); Lukaku 8.

 

Manchester United 4-1 Burton Albion League Cup 3rd Round 20th Sept

Manchester United 4-1 Burton Albion (Rashford 5, 17, Lingard 36, Martial 60) (Dyer 90+1)

Not much to report on this third round procession, but I’ll give it a go anyway. United unsurprisingly strolled to victory, given that we played 11 internationals and Mata and Rashford kept their places, so there was no danger of Mourinho taking the League Cup lightly this season – he wants to retain it and nothing less will do. So no kids in the side, which was a bit of a shame, but I suppose some fringe players needed minutes. Smalling, Lindelof, Darmian, Lingard and Herrera had precious few minutes under their belt so far this term, plus to top it off the new club captain, Michael Carrick, was making his first appearance of the season.

Martial and Rashford started together for the first time this season and ran riot. Young Rash read Lingard’s clever lay-off from a Carrick pass to tuck in for the early lead. United were all over Burton, and another goal soon followed. Rashford’s second goal was a thunderous snap shot from outside the penalty area with little backlift on the turn; United’s overpowered team were on easy street and within 36 minutes the game was over as a contest when Lingard made it 3-0 after a brilliant Martial run. Meanwhile Tony Marshall could’ve had a hat trick, so mesmeric was his dribbling, but settled for one, and a nice video below.

It was just very easy, all a bit cruel on Championship overachievers Burton, who at least had the glory of scoring a consolation goal at Old Trafford through Lloyd Dyer late on. Sub keeper Joel Pereira really should’ve kept it out, but alas (What a gig Romero has right now by the way. Doesn’t even have to complete the 90). We’re through, full of confidence and goals, and drew Swansea away in the 4^th Round. A good evening’s work.

United (4-2-3-1) Romero 6 (Pereira 78, 5); Darmian 7, Lindelof 6.5, Smalling 6.5, Blind 7.5; Carrick 7.5, Herrera 6.5; Mata 7 (Shaw 46, 6), Lingard 7.5, Martial 8.5; Rashford 8 (McTominay 64, 6).

 

Swansea 0-4 Manchester United

Swansea 0-4 Manchester United (Bailly 45, Lukaku 80, Pogba 82, Martial 84)

We don’t have a very good record against Swansea, but last year we went to Wales under serious pressure and Jose, or rather Pogba, Zlatan and Rooney, pulled out a 3-1 away victory. Swansea don’t seem to be sleepwalking to relegation this time like they did around then, with Paul Clement an increasingly impressive figure. But United were obviously massive favourites.

The game started at a snail’s pace. There weren’t many highlights in the first half, so much so that much of the attention focused on the filmiest of claims of a second yellow card for Pogba that would see him take an early bath. Total nonsense, of course.

Our golden boy Rashford was getting plenty of stick from the Jacks, which surprised the commentators who wondered whether it was an example of Anglo-Welsh hostilities. Utd fans knew better – it was clearly a reference to Rashford’s, erm, rather flamboyant tumble in the Swans penalty area at Old Trafford last season. Rooney scored the subsequent dodgy spot-kick and the away fans were fuming given they still were in relegation danger at this point. So the kid probably deserved the choice words heading his way, it definitely won’t be the last time he faces a crowd like that, hopefully it’ll be a learning experience for him.

United went ahead just before the break from a corner which Pogba, given a free header, powered towards goal but the bar and the keeper coincided to keep it just out. The United fans went up in celebration and for a second everyone played on, but it didn’t matter as Eric Bailly reacted first and poked the ball over the line to bring a second round of cheers from the travelling hordes, and to take away the need for a look at goal-line technology.

After we went 1-0 up, the feeling was that the Swans would come out, but they didn’t, and this meant we couldn’t use Valencia and Blind to overlap as much because our wingers had to stay wide to try and open up the game.

For a large percentage of the second half, the game was pretty equal and a Swansea goal seemed just as likely as one from us. Their defensive 5-3-2 formation was hampering our attempts to break the backline, while simultaneously making it difficult for Chelsea loanee Tammy Abraham and Jordan Ayew to test our defence and hold the ball up, given their limited help. The match was becoming scrappy, with Abraham heading over from the penalty spot when unmarked a warning shot for our defence. I was thinking we should bring on Herrera to tighten the midfield up.

On 67 minutes, Clement blinked and brought on two wingers – Narsingh and Routledge – for Bartley and Roque Mesa and switched to a 4-4-2. It was just what Mourinho, the ultimate reactive manager, was waiting for.

8 minutes later, Martial and Fellaini were sent on for Rashford (who had drifted out of proceedings) and Mata. 9 minutes after those changes, United had moved from a tentative 1-0 away win to a comprehensive 4-0 thumping. Swansea didn’t deserve the final score line and had to go for the equaliser and leave the door open for the counter, but the way United shifted through the gears was thoroughly impressive, another sign that things could be different this season, as early as it is.

Lukaku had barely had a kick all game but finished emphatically when the chance came after Martial ran at the defenders before Mkhitaryan took over to play in the £75m man. Well, that is what we bought him for. Somehow I think there won’t be quite as many 1-1 home draws this season with him around. Anyway, 2-0, and in all probability, game over.  Right, let’s relax and keep it tight and go home with a nice win an-

Pogba!!! The third goal came after a lighting counter and the second assist for our midfield Armenian after superb dribbling, but it was all about the two brilliant parts of Pogba’s game; the athleticism to cover so much ground so quickly, and the world class technique rarely seen in such a tall, strong player that allowed him to delicately chip home and then celebrate with the away end. Fantastic move. If Pogba can get close to 15 goals in all competitions this season, and he certainly has the ability to, United’s season could be a lot sweeter this time around. 

There was barely time to breathe before United got their 4^th again. (Remember how rare United scoring four has been over the last three seasons! Yet we’ve made it look so easy!) Another brilliant Pogba-led counter and a typical Martial finish, cutting inside before slotting it in the far corner. The subs by Mourinho had tipped the balance. Sure, Swansea rather fell apart but Mkhitaryan, Martial, and particularly Pogba had been irresistible on the counter attack. Bringing on Fellaini to allow Pogba to roam further forward reminded me of when Roberto Mancini used to bring on De Jong as a sub for City as an attacking sub; to push Yaya Toure up the field.

The Rampant Reds had scored 4 goals in their opening two league games of a season for the first time in 110 years. The 1907-08 season, in case you were wondering. Early doors, I know, but another great day.

United (4-2-3-1) De Gea 6; Valencia 6, Bailly 7, Jones 8, Blind 7; Matic 7.5, Pogba 8; Mata 7 (Fellaini 75, 6), Mkhitaryan 7.5 (Herrera 85), Rashford 6.5 (Martial 75, 7.5); Lukaku 6

Man Utd vs West Brom & Everton

Manchester United 0-0 West Bromwich Albion

There were mitigating circumstances here. The international break and wear and tear from our very long season had limited variety in team selection. WBA have been hard to break down all season and had just beaten Arsenal. But still, fuck off. Thankfully I had a party later this evening so I didn’t have to dwell on one of our worst performances of the season. I’m almost glad that my dodgy stream kept cutting out as it gave me some respite from some of the most insipid shite imaginable.

Ok maybe I’m over egging a bit. But ANOTHER home draw against a team who shouldn’t be able to compete with us. Mourinho was flabbergasted that Conor Macnamara had suggested that the two teams had cancelled each other out, and while he was right that only one team was trying, had all the possession, and one team ventured out their half about 5 times during the game… it was very much sterile domination. The worst of LVG. In most of the other home draws it was amazing that we didn’t score, but not this time. We were shit. Or did WBA defend well? Does it even matter, as our top 4 hopes were extinguished?

The depressing tale of the tape of the points dropped at home this year

The team pretty much picked itself. Zlatan and Herrera were banned, Schweinsteiger had finally left for Chicago Fire, Pogba was still not fit, and the international break had accounted for Jones and Smalling (which at least meant not more 5/6 at the back) and most crushingly, Mata out for the foreseeable future after groin surgery. This after he wasn’t named in the Spain squad, so instead of having a fresh player for challenges ahead, we were missing one of our best creators.

The whole team looked sluggish, just waiting for something to happen, and it almost did near the end as Marcus Rashford almost won the match. First a fiercely struck shot from 35 yards out was brilliantly saved by Foster (One of three ex reds to have a good game as well as Fletcher and Evans) before a free kick from a similar range was heading for the top corner before Foster’s intervention. But that was about it (At least we now know young Rash can take free kicks). The forwards deserved the criticism dished out by Mourinho post-match, and it’s becoming clearer how reliant we are on Pogba and Zlatan to create and finish. 75% possession, 18 shots, but only 3 on target. The farcical nature of the game was summed up when in the last minute Rooney and Fellaini got involved in handbags with Yacob instead of trying to score.

United (4-2-3-1) De Gea 6, Valencia 6.5, Bailly 6, Rojo 6.5, Young 6, Carrick 7, Fellaini 7; Lingard 7, Mkhitaryan 5.5 (Rooney 74, 5), Martial 5.5, Rashford 7.

 

Manchester United 1-1 Everton (Ibrahimovic 90+4 pen) (Jagielka 22)

Fucking again.

What actually is the point of discussing this game, I wonder? For it was just the same as all the other home draws this season. At what point do we say that Mourinho is doing a substandard job, seemingly unable to win matches at Old Trafford? United fans have seen that game about 10 times this season. I’m tired of the profligacy, tired of the excuses, tired of the slow build up until we fall behind or subs come on.

3 changes were made from the boring 0-0 vs West Brom. In came Blind for Valencia (who we really missed) and Zlatan and Herrera made a welcome return from suspension for Mkhitaryan and Martial. We started alright against a good team, remember, one that would leapfrog us in the table if they won. But having lost the Merseyside derby on Saturday as well as missing about 5 of their key players (Coleman, Funes Mori, McCarthy, Bolasie, Schneiderlin), surely we could assert ourselves a bit more in the first half, in particular, and why did Jose feel that we needed to play 3 midfielders when we can’t score goals as it is? Rashford looked sharp up against the broken Coleman’s understudy Mason Holgate, but the half soon petered out a little as our midfield and ponderous back 4 exchanged passes across the halfway line for minutes at a time. We did create chances- Zlatan didn’t shoot quickly enough when played in, Youngy, making a very rare forward run, ran onto a Herrera pass before whipping a cross across the box that was missed – but not enough.

We went behind, typically from Everton’s first attack. Blind switched off allowing Mirallas to win a corner off De Gea. Jagielka converted from point blank range through De Gea’s legs after weak defending from Rojo. For fucks sake.

Meanwhile Joel Robles, who was chucking them in vs Liverpool, briefly turned into Gordon Banks when brilliantly saving from a Blind free kick – from which Herrera hit the bar from a tight angle- before tipping a left footed Herrera long ranger wide.

A friend I was watching the game with logically thought our chances created would lead to goals and predicted a 3-1 final score. Having watched this shit all year, I knew better and predicted 0-1 (ok, I need to be a little more optimistic).

The return of Pogba for Blind at the interval led to a big improvement. The £89m man instantaneously headed against the bar from a Young free kick pushing up his woodwork total to fucking umpteen. Everton started to get dirtier, cynically fouling… but it’s up to us, c’mon….

After all the crap that he said this week (About Shaw’s poor mentality and fitness: "I cannot compare the way he trains and commits, the focus, the ambition. He is a long way behind [Blind, Darmian, and Young]") it was in a way typical Mourinho that he brought on Shaw for his first game since Bournemouth in a tough situation. Although it was pleasing to see the kid back, could Martial really not have been used instead? This season, Lingard and Mkhitaryan have both been used at left back when chasing the game, and it was a mystery to me when 1-0 down at home Jose felt able to do without Martial, who seemed to me to be an essential sub. Especially as again there was a load of chickenshit hesitation from us as usual when we got into the final third. The pattern of play needs serious work, as too often we rely on individual brilliance or a long ball game for goals.

Regardless Shaw played quite well, his crossing ability tying in neatly with the two pronged attack of Fellaini and Zlatan. Havoc was created in the area, but chances were still wasted; Fellaini hitting wide on the swivel, Williams putting in blocks, and then two identical headers over from ten yards out. Pogba with a world class ball to Rojo, Rashford to Zlatan, same result. A similar type of move did lead to a goal, but Zlatan was flagged offside when heading in. Replays suggested he was on, but with the luck we’ve had this season we couldn’t complain. It almost got worse as we attacked, but thankfully a combination of Barkley/Lukaku wastefulness and brilliant recovery defending from Eric Bailly (who was tremendous) meant it remained 1-0.

In the 93^rd, a shanked effort from Shaw (Shaw’s shanked redemption) was saved by Ashley Williams, handing the MOTM a red card, and Zlatan tucked in his 16^th league goal of the season. So a 1-1 draw, we obviously should have won, and there were a small amount of boos at full time. Jose responded by going for Shaw again, saying that it was Shaw’s body but his brain, and he had no football intelligence. Jesus he’s getting tiresome.
I know it was a penalty, but it still was another 90 minutes where despite all the chances, no one else but Zlatan scored. Even if it wasn’t a good display from him, his pedigree ensures his importance, and that’s true even more so for Pogba, a classic case of not-knowing-what-you’ve-had-till-it’s-gone-kind-of-thing. Not for me, that is. Just the cavalcade of morons who somehow think Zlatan and Pogba are problems (!!!) in a side where Ashley Young receives regular game time.

For the third consecutive home game, top 4 is officially gone. Or so I thought. True enough, for the 3^rd consecutive game week we were let off, as on Wednesday Liverpool drew against Bournemouth and City lost at Chelsea (Last 3 games for City btw: 1-1 Liverpool (Aguero) 2-2 @ Arsenal (Sane, Aguero) 1-2 Chelsea (Aguero). 1) How clutch is Aguero. 2) That’s 3 excellent results for us that we haven’t capitalised on. 3) Not many difficult games for City now) A win for Arsenal put us back in our spiritual home of 6^th, but somehow we’re still in it. But with Spurs, Arsenal and City away to come, plus Chelsea at home, two points from WBA and Everton is a proper disgrace. It’s all Europa now…

United (4-3-3) De Gea 6; Young 5 (Shaw 65, 7), Bailly 8, Rojo 6, Blind 5 (Pogba 46, 7); Herrera 6, Carrick 6.5 (Mkhitaryan 65, 6), Fellaini 6; Lingard 6.5, Ibrahmovic 6.5, Rashford 6.5.

Leicester 0-3 Manchester United

Leicester 0-3 Manchester United (Mkhitaryan 42, Ibrahimovic 44, Mata 49)

“The last time I was sat in this chair, the next day I was sacked!”

Jose was in a good mood at the post match press conference, and why not? The United manager had just seen his team stroll to possibly their easiest league win of the season at the home of the champions, who were truly abysmal. Not only this, he’d seen his demand for the other attacking players to ease the goal scoring burden on Zlatan Ibrahimovic answered by goals and brilliant performances from Juan Mata and the wonderful Henrikh Mkhitaryan. It was a world away from the frustration felt after the 0-0 draw vs Hull on Wednesday.

Another reason for the elation was the results elsewhere. Chelsea had beaten Arsenal 3-1, (deliciously, the third coming from Fabregas after a Cech error), and Liverpool continued their hilarious form by losing to the ever more impressive Hull. Top 4 is now not only back on, but almost expected…..? Maybe. We’ll see how the retuning Europa affects us.

The table at the end of a good weekend

 

The intent was shown when the team was announced, with Carrick dropped after a poor half against Hull, and Mata restored to the side. Rooney was missing through illness, and Jones replaced by Smalling after the injury picked up on Wednesday. There was a few grumbles about the lack of Martial (again!), but the attacking players all did well.

Creating opportunities hasn’t really been a problem this term, but our profligacy has, so it was immensely pleasing to see the ruthlessness on display, with three goals in the space of 10 minutes either side of half time sealing the comfortable win. The first 20 minutes didn’t suggest any of this though, with ponderous passing and aggressive tackling from both sides making this seem like ‘one of those’ games. United started with a 4-4-2 with Rashford down the middle, but Mourinho soon changed it back to the more familiar 4-2-3-1 with Mkhitaryan central, where he could do his best work. Mata was a perhaps a tad lucky to get away with a yellow for a late slide tackle on Vardy, but afterwards we settled down and took control. Herrera bounced back from a shocking first half hour to set the tempo with Pogba. 

It was Mkhitaryan who was the real match winner though, with a sensational performance exemplifying why he was signed. So inventive, creative, the ability to commit defenders and most importantly direct running. His goal was similar to his Tottenham one, the flick past Huth before accelerating, and no one was catching him. Almost straight away we turned the screw, an overdue assist for Valencia given the positions he gets into, and yet another for Zlatan –at 35 years and 125 days, the Swedish legend is the oldest player to reach 15 league goals in a season.

LOL @ Morgan's face

Our midfield Armenian was at it again with one-twos with Ibrahimovic and Mata for the third, stroked in from the Spaniard in a similar manner to his winner at Carrow Road last year. He’s responded well from his poor form over Christmas, and as a goal threat, is second only to Ibrahimovic at the moment.

I felt sorry for Leicester’s recent midfield signing Ndidi, who showed impressive tenacity and passing range, as the rest of the side were almost embarrassing. Mahrez and Vardy’s displays, and the contrast from last season, fully deserved the hostility they got at full time.

The Special Juan rounding off the game

The final 20 minutes were pretty dull as United, in full control, decided to rest for battles ahead rather than go for more goals and a bigger goal difference. I mean, even Youngy got some minutes. There were chances to get at least two more and catch up on the others (Mata had a one on one), and Martial could’ve been brought on to really give them both barrels, but after such a good away win, complaining like that would be unfair. It’s been a while since we scored 3 in the league, a great weekend for us, with top games from Mkhitaryan, Smalling, Mata and Zlatan.

Onwards to Watford.

United (4-2-3-1) De Gea 7; Valencia 7, Bailly 6.5, Smalling 8, Rojo 6 (Blind 46, 7); Herrera 6, Pogba 6.5; Mata 8 (Fellaini 77, 6), Mkhitaryan 9, Rashford 7 (Young 83); Ibrahimovic 8.